Archive for the 'Battles' Category

07
Jan
11

Nerd Fight: Battle #39

Aaaaaaaaaaand we’re back for 2011 with more BATTLES! This year, we have a new and (hopefully) improved format! R2 and I will be doing our edges separately now, so hopefully they’ll be a little more clear. Good thing we started today, because although we usually agree, this one was a doozy! Now onto the show!

It’s that time again. To reiterate, every Friday the Cupcake Rogues will randomly pick 2 characters to do battle – whether it be Marvel, DC, female, male, mutant, human, or human that pretends to be a mutant with magic (I’m looking at you, Juggernaut), they are all possible. Once we’ve randomly selected our two, they will go head to head in several categories with one being deemed winner. The winner will live on to fight another day, but a warning – with 200 possible characters, it may be awhile before round 2 🙂

Thirty-ninth week in the random selection:

Batman vs. Iron Man

Batman Iron Man
Origin Bruce Wayne lived a charmed life as the only son of wealthy Gotham City fixtures, Thomas and Martha Wayne. At the age of eight, Bruce and his parents were accosted by a mugger who shot both Thomas and Martha in front of their sons eyes. Traumatized, Bruce would spend years training his mind and body in dedication to ridding Gotham City of crime. When Bruce returned from his years abroad, it was to find Gotham in even worse condition than he’d left it. The people’s morale was low and the police department corrupt. Batman’s first foray into crime fighting left him not only with stab and bullet wounds, but a realization that he had to be more than just a man on the streets beating up criminals. He decides that he needs to become something that will strike fear in the hearts of villains. As Bruce is bleeding all over the Alfred’s freshly waxed floor, inspiration comes in the form of a bat perched on top of a statue of his father. Deciding to make criminals share his childhood fear, Bruce Wayne becomes Batman! (Am I the only one thinking how badly this could’ve turned out if it was a butterfly lounging on Thomas Wayne’s bust?) Tony Stark was born to a wealthy industrialist and head of Stark Industries, Howard Stark and his wife Maria. Tony was a boy genius, entering MIT at the age of 15 to study electrical engineering. His parents died in a car crash, he inherits his father’s company. While overseas, Tony is injured and captured by the enemy, led by Wong-Chu. Wong-Chu orders him to design weapons, however Tony realizes that his injuries are serious and shrapnel is moving towards his heart. His fellow prisoner, Nobel Prize-winning physicist Ho Yinsen constructs a magnetic chest plate to keep the shrapnel from reaching Tony’s heart and together they built a suit of powered armor in secret, which Tony uses to make his escape. Yinsen sacrifices his life to save Tony’s during the escape. Tony then uses the suit to take revenge on his kidnappers and heads back to rejoin American forces, meeting a wounded James Rhodes on the way. Back home, Tony uses the cover for Iron Man as Stark’s bodyguard and corporate mascot, only revealing his identity to Pepper and Happy, and using his image as rich playboy as a cover (sound familiar?). Eventually Stark’s heart is cured with an artificial heart transplant. Around this time he becomes an alcoholic and starts f*ing stuff up, but eventually beats his dependence on alcohol. However, this will not be the last time that alcoholism plagues Tony’s life.
Edge? R1 – Batman: Though both men lost their parents too young, Batman had to watch it up close and personal. You’d put on tights and think you were a flying rodent too. R2 – Batman: While both origins are similar in that the hero has a traumatic experience that becomes their reason to fight crime, Batman did it first; and Batman did it best.
Powers/ Abilities While Batman is a human being with no superhuman powers, he is often described as being at the height of physical perfection. He’s dedicated his life to training himself to not only be a master fighter (with knowledge of over 120 forms of combat), but he’s considered the world’s greatest detective. He is an expert in Science, Biology and Criminology. He’s also fluent in English, Spanish, French, Russian, German, Japanese, Chinese, and other languages. Physical prowess and brain power aside, Bruce is a billionaire and therefore has limitless resources at his disposal. Some of his more recognizable bits of paraphernalia are his batarangs, grappling hook, Batmobile and his utility belt (which miraculously contains anything he would need in any given situation) Batman even keeps a Kryptonite ring on hand in case his good buddy The Man of Steel ever needs a good b*tch slap back to reality. A notable omission from the bat-arsenal is firearms. Bruce has an understandable abhorrence for guns though he has equipped the Batmobile with similar devices which he uses to incapacitate vehicles or obliterate obstacles. Last but not least, Batman keeps an extensive file on known super heroes and their weaknesses and has contingency plans to kill them if necessary. Starting with the suit, Tony’s armor gives him superhuman strength, durability, flight and an array of weapons. The suit has been improved drastically over the years, but his standard repulsor rays that fire through the palms are always there, as well as pulse bolts, an electromagnetic pulse generator and a defensive energy shield that extends 360 degrees. The suit also has a freeze-beam, the ability to manipulate magnetic fields, sonic blasts, and the projection of 3D holograms to use as decoys. In addition to his traditional suit, Tony has used his genius to create alternate suits for alternate situations, such as his suit modeled after the Destroyer that uses a mystical power source in order to fight Thor and the Hulkbuster, with enough strength ad durability to engage the Incredible Hulk. He has also created suits for space travel, stealth, and deep-sea diving. 

When Tony was critically injured during a battle with Mallen, he injects himself with the “Extremis process.” This rewrites his biology, giving him an enhanced healing factor and causing him to partly merge with the Iron Man armor, allowing a lighter armor that is technopathically controlled by his own brain. This process is purged from his body during the Secret Invasion storyline.

Tony is also a genius in the fields of math, physics, chemistry, computers, and engineering. His skills in these areas rival that of Reed Richards, Hank Pym and Bruce Banner. He is known for his quick thinking in unsuspected situations with difficult foes as well as his business sense.  Tony is so smart that he has “come back to life” several times by his own creations.

Tony has also trained with Captain America, a professional boxer (his chauffer Happy), and James Rhodes to fight without his suit.

Edge? R1 – Iron Man: This is an extremely close call, but while all of the strengths the two men share, I have to let Tony’s suit give him the slight edge. That suit has saved him from dying of a heart attack and flown him out of a battle gone wrong, while Batman’s suit, though awesome, could only call for help and hope someone was near when he lay dying in an alley. Sometimes it seems Bats put in too much thought into having the suit protect his identity when downed, and not enough into protecting his life when downed. R2 – Batman: This is close, but I’m giving it to Batman because even without the batsuit, he’s still got the knowledge of deadly combat on his side and his sheer determination. Plus, Tony actually IS an alcoholic playboy, while Bruce doesn’t imbibe in anything that could affect his physical performance. Even Superman has called Batman “the most dangerous man on Earth.” Yeah, Bats was holding a Kryptonite ring up to his face, but it’s still true!
Love Interest For a man so intent on his work, Batman has had a surprising number of romantic partners. The original Batwoman, Vicki Vale, Julie Madison, Jezebel Jet (her parents suck), Sasha Bordeaux, Zatanna, Vesper Fairchild, Silver St. Cloud and even Wonder Woman. But the two that stand out the most are Talia Al-Ghul and Selina Kyle. While Batman actually married and had a child with Talia, he always goes back to Catwoman – And really, can you blame him? Tony has had many notches in his belt over the years, including Meredith McCall, Sunset Bain, Joanna Nivena, Virginia “Pepper” Potts, Natasha Romanova, aka the Black Widow, Janice Cord, Marianne Rodgers, Madame Masque, Bethany Cabe, Janet Van Dyne, aka the Wasp, Indries Moomji, Heather Glenn, Brie Daniels, Rae Lacoste, Kathy Dare, Dr. Su Yin, Veronica Benning, Rumiko Fujikawa, Calista Hancock, and Anna Wei. You know, just to name a few. Each has their own story, from fling to love.
Edge? R1 – Batman: While Bruce and Tony match each other in quantity, Bruce gets the edge for having more significant relationships. R2 – Batman: Because he’s actually considered giving up Batman to be with a woman (Albeit, women with ridiculous monikers)…And because Tony likely has Syphilis.
Costume Considering Batman chose his costume to help him go unnoticed, he has one of the most recognized costumes in the history of comics and while it’s gone through a few revamps, there are a few key elements that always stay the same. The scalloped cape, the cowl and bat ears, the bat emblem on his chest and his ubiquitous utility belt. Duh, he’s the Iron Man. His costume consists of… the Iron Man suit. Red and gold armor with some super fly gadgets built in and a plethora of other specialized suits at his disposal.
Edge? R1 – DRAW: Both of these men ARE their suits. Without them, they’re just super awesome rich guys with mad fighting skills. R2 – Batman: Except for a few unfortunate instances in the 60’s (see wtf moment) Batman’s costume does exactly what it’s supposed to do. Startle the heck out of you. While Ironman’s suit is admittedly awesome, I’ve never understood why it needed to be red and gold. I’ve always preferred War Machines look.
Most Entertaining Personality While Bruce’s public persona is much like that other billionaire playboy, in reality, Bruce doesn’t have time for that s***. He has cases to go over, clues to deduce and women to seduce…Well, maybe not so much that last part. When it comes to crime fighting no one takes it more serious than Brucie. But for all that he’s the fricken Batman, he’s rarely arrogant about it. Tony is fun. He never takes anything too seriously (unlike some OTHER batty superhero that needs to take a major dose of chillax every once and awhile). Tony is an arrogant, funny playboy that likes to party and likes his fame as Iron Man. While he does take his job seriously and he certainly has had his dark moments, he’s usually pretty light hearted and might even make a snarky comment or two before kicking your butt.
Edge? R1 – Iron Man: Although everyone loves the g*ddamn Batman, as every spoof will tell you, every once and awhile you just want to say “Chill out and take a vacay, Bruce!” The man is always serious. All work and no play makes Bruce a dull boy… R2 – Batman: Because there’s a difference between the arrogance used for comedic relief and the arrogance of an overgrown frat boy. Sometimes don’t you just want to punch Tony in the face?
Best story arch Let’s be honest here, Bruce has had some amazing storylines in his time. There’s “Knightfall” where Bane breaks Bruce’s back putting him out of comission for a while. Bruce has to hand the Batman persona over to Azrael who is so unstable that the Batman reputation is tarnished for a time. There’s also “Cataclysm” and “No Mans Land” where Gotham is demolished by an earthquake and cut off from the rest of society making it a literal hell on earth for those foolish enough to stay. In “A Death in the Family” Jason Todd AKA Robin is beaten and blown up by the Joker, causing Batman to reject all help and become more violent. There’s also the “Hush” series, Final Crisis, Batman R.I.P. and several others. HOW DO YOU PICK JUST ONE?! In “The Crossing” storyline, Iron Man is revealed to be a traitor among the Avengers due to years of manipulation by the time-traveling dictator Kang the Conqueror (another story arc says this is really a disguised Immortus, but I digress). As a sleeper agent of Kand, Stark kills Crystal and Quicksilver’s nanny Marilla, the female Yellowjacket, Rita DeMara, and Amanda Cheney. The Avengers, unable to beat Stark and Kang, travel back in time to pick up a teenaged Tony Stark to assist them. Teenaged Stark steals an Iron Man suit to use in order to help the Avengers fight Kang and his future self.  Seeing the teenaged version of himself snaps the older Stark out of it long enough to gain control his actions and sacrifice his life to stop Kang. The younger Stark will later build his own suit to become the new Iron Man and gains legal control of his company. During the battle with Onslaught, the teenaged Stark dies, along with many others. Franklin Richards preserves the dead heroes in another universe in which Tony Stark is once again an adult. Franklin then recreates the heroes in the pocket universe in the forms he is most familiar with. The reborn Tony Stark, upon returning to the normal universe merges with the original Stark. The new Stark, which has memories from both teenaged and adult Tony, is reborn heart healthy. He gets his company back and forces a hearing due to his traitorous actions. Once cleared of wrongdoing, he rejoins the Avengers.
Edge? R1 – Batman: I mean, duh. Come on. R2 – Batman: You don’t pick, you just accept the fact that Batman gets the bitchin storylines.
Hotness So not only is Batman brilliant, but at 6’2 with black hair and blue eyes, he’s hot too. If he wasn’t so darn awesome, you might actually hate him. Umm, hello? Tony Stark was played by Robert Downery Jr, only the most bangable over 40 actor in Hollywood, so I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that all the women aren’t sleeping with Tony *just* because he’s rich.
Edge? R1 – DRAW: Hmmm, super hot rich guy or super hot rich guy? Christian Bale or RDJ? How ever will I choose? Oh yeah, I won’t. Both, please. R2 – Batman: Simply because I do not care for facial hair.
Fiercest foe Though he might disagree, Batman is fortunate enough to have the most amazing nemesis on the planet. The Joker loves nothing more than to find some new way to torment The Dark Knight and while Batman has had many opportunities (and reasons!) to off The Clown Prince of Crime, he has yet to do so. Is it because Batman has a moral center that rivals even that of Superman? Is it because The Joker is the snappiest dresser Gotham City has ever seen? Or is it because DC knows better than to off Batsy’s precious Mr. J? Psssst! It’s the last one! Tony has had many enemies as Iron Man, but the one he’s been fighting the longest is BOOZE. The demon in a bottle. Stark fights his alcoholism on several occasions, but always comes out on top. Having your cover as a partying playboy has its risks.
Edge? R1 – Batman: The Joker wins all. That’s all you need to know. R2 – Batman: Booze is a heartless bitch, but booze doesn’t look nearly as good in spats.
Best Sidekick If you are an orphan living on the mean streets of Gotham City, chances are the Batman will eventually take you on as his protégé. Why? Because Batman goes through kids faster than Herbert from Family Guy. While Batman will NOT kill the Joker, he seems to have no compunction over putting minors in harm’s way. Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake and even Batman’s own son Damien have all taken on the role of Robin at some point in their young lives, and let’s not forget Barbara Gordon, Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown have all had their turn as Batgirl. But it’s cool, it’s not like anyone has sustained any lasting injuries or died or anything…Wait… War Machine – When Tony needs a more high-powered suit, he created the War Machine suit. After faking his death, James Rhodes, or “Rhodey” began his solo career as the War Machine. Iron Man and War Machine have fought separately and together through the years.
Edge? R1 – Iron Man: Yeah, how has Bats not had a visit from social services yet?? R2 – Iron Man: I don’t feel the need to justify this choice.
Biggest WTF Moment Submitted for your approval is a link to a time in Batman’s life he would probably rather forget. The 60’s… (click here) Oh and Batman also keeps the shoe of Silver St. Cloud in the Batcave as a love memento when she breaks up with him. Creeper. -Stark is so smart, that when an unbalanced former lover paralyzed him, he created a nerve chip and implanted it into his spine to regain his mobility. After further nervous system issues, he constructed a “skin” made of artificial nerve circuitry to help his body. Eventually he placed himself into suspended animation and makes a full recovery by using a chip to reprogram himself. Ummm, OK. 

-Later on, his armor becomes sentient and more and more aggressive, wanting to replace Tony as Iron Man. However, on a desert island where Stark suffers a heart attack, the suit sacrifices itself to make Tony a new artificial heart. So… he’s so smart that his creations make creations now?

– When Tony is forced to hand over the Superhero Registration Act Initiative to Norman Osborn, Tony sneaks in and destroys the records, leaving the only living records of who is a superhero in his head. Tony runs as Osborn has him hunted. Tony goes as far as to inflict brain damage on himself to get rid of the information in his mind. Oh and when the damage to his brain becomes too much from Osborn and he drops into a vegetative state, don’t worry. He left Pepper instructions of how to reboot his mind. Because he’s so smart he can’t die!

Edge? R1 – Batman: Because while Iron Man’s suit is a flashy red and gold, at least it’s not pink. R2 – Batman: Because his WTF lasted more than a DECADE!
Person who should attempt an on-screen portrayal Many people have taken on the role of Batman. There’s Michael Keaton, George Clooney, Adam We(st) and Kevin Conroy has voiced Bruce for years, but lets focus on the most recent one shall we? Christian Bale helped breathe new life into the Batman movie franchise with his realistic portrayal of Bruce Wayne and The Bat – And if you disagree, that makes you an amateur and we are done professionally!!! Robert Downey Jr. RDJ IS Tony Stark. Even in Iron Man 2, which was only OK, RDJ shined as the cocky, genius playboy.
Edge? R1 – DRAW:  Batman’s portrayal has been great to horrifying. Iron Man’s portrayal has been nothing but spot on, but he’s had the luck of only needing one actor thus far. Toss up. R2 – DRAW: Both actors were awesome! Each one loses a point in my book though. Christian Bale for that disconcerting voice and RDJ for being a bit long in the tooth.

R1: Batman – 8; Iron Man – 6

R2: Batman 10; Iron Man – 2

And the winner is… BATMAN! Had you any doubt?

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31
Dec
10

Nerd Fight: Battle #38

It’s that time again. To reiterate, every Friday the Cupcake Rogues will randomly pick 2 characters to do battle – whether it be Marvel, DC, female, male, mutant, human, or human that pretends to be a mutant with magic (I’m looking at you, Juggernaut), they are all possible. Once we’ve randomly selected our two, they will go head to head in several categories with one being deemed winner. The winner will live on to fight another day, but a warning – with 200 possible characters, it may be awhile before round 2 🙂

Thirty-eighth week in the random selection:

Silver Surfer vs. Lobo

Silver Surfer Lobo
Origin Norrin Radd was born on the planet Zenn-La. Radd and his family were part of an ancient advanced civilization that lost the will to strive or explore, leaving Norrin restless and yearning for something more. Faced with the destruction of his world by Galactus, Radd makes a deal with him. Radd pledges to serve Galactus and seek out planets for him to feed on in exchange for his lover, Shalla-Bal’s safety. Galactus accepts this offer, giving Radd a portion of the Power Cosmic, which turns him into the Silver Surfer.  Once Radd runs out of uninhabited planets for Galactus to feast on, he leads Galactus to Earth. Here the Surfer meets the Fantastic Four and Alicia Masters. Touched by their kindness, he chooses to rebel against Galactus and drives him off. As punishment, Galactus exiles the Surfer to Earth, creating an invisible barrier that only effects him. There once was a beautiful planet named Czarnia. The people living there enjoyed peace and tranquility until the day Lobo was born. In Lobo’s first hours of birth he bit the fingers off the midwife who delivered him, frightened a nurse to death and attacked hospital staff with scalpels. The baby was named Lobo – Meaning “He Who Devours Your Entrails and Thoroughly Enjoys it.” Things only get stranger from here. The people had lived a life of pacifism so long that they simply didn’t know how to handle him. By the time he was in grade school, Lobo ruled the roost. He killed a teacher for calling him a mean little bastard and ripped the throat out of his principal. By the time Lobo was high school age he decided he’d had enough of the simpering Czarnians and set to work on creating a disease to wipe them all out. He succeeded and for 5 days straight, Lobo watched his people drop like flies around him. When it was all over he drank a toast to himself and decided he would become a bounty hunter.
Edge? Lobo – Any guy whose birth could easily be his WTF moment has an original origin.
Powers/ Abilities The Silver Surfer wields the Power Cosmic, which grants him superhuman strength, stamina, durability, senses and the ability to absorb and manipulate the universe’s ambient energy for a variety of effects. He can navigate through interstellar space, dimensions, and can exceed the speed of light when on his board. He is also capable of time travel. The Surfer concerts matter into energy, making food, water, air, and sleep unnecessary. However, he does enter a sleep-like meditation occasionally to dream. He can project energy in various forms, including force fields and bolts of cosmic force powerful enough to destroy entire planets or create black holes.  The Surfer can heal living organisms and has proven capable of revitalizing and evolving organic life on a planet-wide scale. He can alter the size of himself or other matter, cast illusions, and phase through solid matter. The Surfer can even see through time, allowing him a limited perception of past and future events and giving him telepathic abilities, including mind-reading an influence over human emotion. The Surfer’s board is linked to the Surfer and responds to his mental commands even when he’s not in contact with it. Though the board is nearly indestructible, the Surfer can repair or recreate it is necessary. The board is also capable of absorbing and imprisoning other beings. The limits of Lobo’s strength and durability are often left up to the writers’ interpretation. However, he’s gone toe-to-toe with the Man of Steel and lived to tell the tale. He can also survive massive explosions without sustaining injury as well as survive in deep space. Lobo has a healing factor that allows him to regenerate himself from just a drop of his own blood. Although he’s essentially immortal because neither Heaven or Hell will come to collect him. Lobo is a nearly unparalled bounty hunter and tracks his victims through his sense of smell, which is apparently powerful enough to track through the vacuum of space. He’s excellent at armed and unarmed combat and prefers to fight with a massive gutting hook attached to a chain which he keeps wrapped around his wrist. Though he comes across as a great big lout, he’s smart enough to whip up virulent agents and their antidotes and he made his “Space Hog” into a time machine with spare parts he’s scavenged. Lobo was recently granted a red lantern ring of rage by Atrocitus.
Edge? Silver Surfer – This is a close one, but when it comes down to it, the Surfer has the edge of consistently awesome powers on a large scale. This would probably end up with Silver Surfer throwing Lobo into a Black Hole and Lobo terrorizing a whole new galaxy.
Love Interest Shalla-Bal, his love-interest from his home planet, whom he became the Silver Surfer to save. While exiled on Earth, he sees her several times again, but always with her being held as a pawn by his enemies, and every time he’s required to let her go to save Earth. When his exile is finally lifted, Radd returns to Zenn-La to find Shalla-Bal is now the empress and unable to renew their romance. What’s worse? She’s married to Radd’s long lost half-brother. He later has flings with Mantis and Nova, but they both end badly. He also at one point has a weird love triangle with Alicia Masters and The Thing. Lobo flirts with Darlene, the only waitress at a diner he frequents. Though he’s caused the destruction of said diner several times, he usually tries to protect Darlene (and Al the owner) from harm.
Edge? Silver Surfer – Because anything is more impressive than trying to bang the bartender at your local watering hole.
Costume The Silver Surfer is, you guessed it, silver. He doesn’t wear clothes, he just perches his silver ass on that silver surfboard and calls it a day. Lots of leather and chains. If Hell’s Angels had a deity, it would be this guy.
Edge? Lobo – Silver Surfer is basically naked, yes?
Most Entertaining Personality While the Silver Surfer has an innate nobility and is depicted as a semi-divine being, when he first is exiled to Earth he lacks the most basic knowledge of good versus evil. On Earth he begins to learn things like jealousy, despair, and cruelty. Even after seeing humanity’s dark side so often, Radd fights on the side of good. No one in the DC Universe loves violence more than Lobo. He’s an arrogant, rude, brute of a guy who drinks too much and smokes nasty cigars. He is willing to kill ANYONE if the price is right. On the flip side, Lobo also has a rather strict sense of honor – “The Main Man’s word is his bond”. He also seems to have a love for space dolphins. Once, while fighting Aquaman, he gave up the fight when he found out Aquaman was raised by dolphins.
Edge? Lobo – We could watch that train wreck all day!
Best story arc In the Annihilation story arc, the Silver Surfer joins Galactus’ other heralds against the forces of the Annihilation Wave and becomes Galactus’ herald once more to help save the universe from Annihilus and two beings named “Tenebrous, of the Darkness Between” and “Aegis, Lady of All Sorrows.” The heralds defeat and capture the duo, giving them to Annihilus and Thanos for experimentation. Thanos learns of Annihilus’ more personal goal and is soon killed by Drax the Destroyer. Learning of Thanos’ death and Annihilus’ plan, the Silver Surfer frees Galactus, and a pissed off Galactus destroys more than half of the Annihilation Wave, while a group called the United Front defeat Annihilus himself. The Silver Surfer tracks down Tenebrous and Aegis and maneuvers them into The Crunch – an all-destroying border of the universe. After this he returns to his role as Galactus’ herald. Without a doubt it’s the Paramilitary Christmas Special. Lobo is contacted by a drunken Easter Bunny who takes a hit out on Santa Claus for stealing most of the glory from lesser holiday icons. Lobo is happy to accept and heads to the North Pole where he mercilessly slays all of Santa’s elves. When he takes on Santa himself it’s to find out that Santa is not the jolly man most people believe him to be, but a dictator. After a vicious battle ending with Lobo decapitating Santa with one of his own shivs, Lobo packs up and leaves – But not before shooting Rudolph in the head. I giggled the entire time I wrote this. Mwhahhahahahahaha!
Edge? Lobo – w….t….f????
Hotness If you like to look at your own reflection when you look into your man’s eyes (I’m looking at YOU, Emma Frost), then sign up for some Silver Surfer lovin’. He’s got pasty skin, pupiless red eyes and black and gray dreadlocks. Picture a roided up Gene Simmons dressed in biker gear. Ladies?
Edge? Silver Surfer – We… don’t really feel we need to explain here.
Fiercest foe Galactus. Although the two eventually come to a truce and even work together again, Galactus is the reason Radd had to become the Silver Surfer in the first place. Which is why he lost his love and his planet and is doomed to wander the galaxies. Rude. Wolverine fans. During a Marvel Vs. DC crossover, fans were invited to vote to choose the outcome of a battle between Wolverine and Lobo. Wolvie kicked Lobo’s ass.
Edge? Silver Surfer – Galactus really ruined the Surfer’s life. Aaaaand, Lobo’s fans don’t strike us as the voting type anyway.
Biggest WTF Moment Norrin discovers that Galactus has tampered with his mind at one point and reveals part of his past, including the fact that he saw his mother’s dead body after she slit her wrists and that his father, a scientist, was accused of plagiarizing and shot himself because of Norrin’s disappointment. Ummm, probably should’ve let Galactus keep those a secret. Pretty much everything Lobo is involved in is a wtf moment. He’s been transformed into a teenager and joined young justice. He’s claimed to have found religion but quickly renounced it when a triple headed fish god let him out of his promise. His own rage powered an entire sector of Hell. He’s killed his school teacher, his people, his bastard children and Santa Claus. The list goes on and on.
Edge? Lobo … Just, Lobo.
Person who should attempt an on-screen portrayal Doug Jones was the body of the Silver Surfer, while Laurence Fishburne did his voice in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Doug Jones is always a good bet when you’re working with a character that needs a lot of CGI work/heavy make up (just as he did in Hellboy, Pan’s Labyrinth, Legion, etc.). In The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special, Lobo is played by Andrew Bryniarski, and even though it looks like it cost $17 to produce, it is AWESOME. (Thanks, Tim!)
Edge? Lobo – no offense to Doug Jones, but we’d rather watch the Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special on loop than have to watch 10 minutes of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

Silver Surfer: 4

Lobo:  6

And the winner is…. LOBO! He’s our kind of people, what can we say? Silver Surfer is a bit too vanilla and we like our sundaes with a few nuts thrown in… ZING!

24
Dec
10

Nerd Fight: Battle #37

It’s that time again. To reiterate, every Friday the Cupcake Rogues will randomly pick 2 characters to do battle – whether it be Marvel, DC, female, male, mutant, human, or human that pretends to be a mutant with magic (I’m looking at you, Juggernaut), they are all possible. Once we’ve randomly selected our two, they will go head to head in several categories with one being deemed winner. The winner will live on to fight another day, but a warning – with 200 possible characters, it may be awhile before round 2 🙂

Thirty-seventh week in the random selection:

Donna Troy vs. Moonstone

  Donna Troy   Moonstone
Origin Donna Troy’s origin has had more rewrites than a Hollywood script. Currently, she is a magic-made clone of Diana who was kidnapped by Dark Angel and put in suspended animation for a number of years. Dark Angel, a sworn enemy of Hippolyta thought she was kidnapping the original Diana. She cursed Donna in that she would live multiple lives defined by suffering. Donna would lose memory of her previous lives until Dark Angel would appear in each lifetime and cause her to remember them. This cycle was ended by Diana, Hippolyta and Wally West. Donna was welcomed back to Themyscira as a second princess. It was revealed later that Dark Angel was actually a version of Donna herself. When the multiverse was destroyed Dark Angel wanted to be the only version of Donna Troy so instead of all the multiverse Donna’s being merged into one being, Dark Angel used her powers to make Donna live out each life so that once they were all killed, she would be the only living version of Donna left. Got that?   Karla Sofen grew up in the mansion of a Hollywood producer as the daughter of the producer’s butler. After her father passed away, her mother had to work three jobs to put Karla through college. Instead of being appreciative, Karla decided to ever end up like her mother and always put her own needs first. After becoming a psychiatrist, Karla entered the criminal world as an aide to Doctor Faustus. Learning of the original Moonstone, Lloyd Bloch, she became his psychologist and manipulated him into rejecting the power, which she then took for herself. Karla murdered her own mother by suffocating her and setting her house on fire. She also liked to convince her depressed patients to kill themselves while she watched…. Psy.Cho.Path.
Edge? Moonstone – Although Donna’s is interesting, it changes so much we’ve gotten whiplash.
Powers/ Abilities Donna has pretty much the same powers as Diana – super strength, speed, stamina and durability. She also has her whip of persuasion (Rawrrrrr!) which allows her to impose her will on those caught up in it.   With the powers of the Moonstone, a Kree gravity stone, Karla can manipulate gravity, fly, fire photon blasts, generate light and has super strength, speed and durability. She is also intangible and can control molecules on a minor level. When she absorbed a second gravity stone for a short while, she was able to manipulate matter, create force fields, generate mini black holes and transport objects through dimensional rifts. If she is separated from her original Moonstone for more than 72 hours, she will die. She also uses her extensive knowledge in psychology to manipulate others around her.
Edge? Donna – If she has Wonder Woman powers, then she’s no one to mess with!
Love Interest Donna had a husband at one point named Terry Long. They had a child named Robert, but both Terry and Robert would be killed in a car accident. During Darkest Night, donna had to face the black lantern versions of her husband and son. She’s also been linked to Kyle Raynor.   Karla only feigns love interest for personal gain. She’s seduced Hawkeye, Graviton, Bullseye and Noh-Varr for personal gain, as well as countless other, less important people.
Edge? Donna – Karla wants to know what this love thing is that you speak of and what’s in it for her.
Costume Donna has worn a more modest version of Wonder Woman’s original costume and a red bodysuit decorated with yellow stars. But it’s her black bodysuit decorated with constellations that she’s sporting now.   As Moonstone, Karla wears a white and yellow body suit with facemask. When she became Ms. Marvel, she donned a red and black suit with a yellow star in the middle and Ms. Marvel’s eye mask.
Edge? Donna – Because R2 is obsessed with the glittering bodysuit and it is a way to stand out in a crowd full of super heroines.
Most Entertaining Personality Donna seems a little bland to be honest. While she’s supposed to be a duplicate of Wonder Woman, she’s just not nearly as awesome.   B*tches be crazy. And we love crazy b*tches. Although Karla occasionally went to the side of good, she’s inherently evil. She only cares about her own agenda and she manipulates her depressed patients into killing them so she can watch! When I’m bored I usually just pop in a comic book video game or watch some 90s X-Men! Come on, Karla!

 

Edge? Moonstone – We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again – who doesn’t like a crazy b*tch?
Best story arc During the Final Crisis storyline, Donna has become the new Harbinger and is the guardian of the Universe Orb. The Orb contains the Multiverse Chronicles collected by the original Harbinger. When she discovers that a great danger is approaching, Donna gathers up a group of heroes to help her stop it. Alexander Luthor, Jr. and Superboy Prime have caused a rip in space with the intention of recreating Earth-Two and later, the whole Multiverse. Donna procured a red sun-eater that was used to defeat Superboy Prime. When she returned to New Chronus, she learned from the Universe Orb that she was supposed to die in the conflict instead of her team mate Jade…Oops.   When Moonstone, under her Ms. Marvel guise, finds the baby M.O.D.O.C.’s, she takes them back to her room for safekeeping. The Tower is attacked, and Deadpool steals the babies on behalf of A.I.M. Karla finds Deadpool and defeats him, and then comes across the New Avengers and four mysterious beings, each one a different color in an underground A.I.M. base. Karla is too late in trying to save the babies as she sees Spider-Man hook them up to the machine. With that, the four mysterious beings merge and reform Carol Danvers, the original Ms. Marvel. Unwilling to give up her new title, Karla fights Carol, but Carol never goes down. It is discovered that Danvers has a counterpart, Catherine Donovan, who makes Danvers invulnerable. Osborn kills Donovan and she is revealed to have been a creation of the Storyteller, which then inhabits Karla’s body as she fights Carol. While trapped in her own body, Karla is forced to face her true identity and, as Moonstone once again, expels Donovan’s consciousness, which mergers with Carol, making her whole again. Carol then snatched out Karla’s moonstone and offers her a chance at redemption before the 72 hours runs out and Karla is killed without the moonstone. Carol hides the moonstone at Karla’s mother’s gravesite. Karla finds the moonstone and, with no remorse, smashes the headstone and claims she prefers the way she is.
Edge? Moonstone – That is one cold-hearted b*tch. Oh, and a Deadpool cameo, duh.
Hotness Since Donna is a duplicate of Wonder Woman, she’s a beautiful Amazon with black hair and blue eyes.   As per usual, the bat-sh*t crazy women are super hot. Blonde hair, tight outfit and the ability to make you think she wants you. Game over, you’re screwed! And unfortunately for you, I don’t mean literally.
Edge? Donna – While both are hot, with Karla, you’d have to sleep with one eye open. She has Lorena Bobbit tendencies.
Fiercest foe Dark Angel for sure – She forced Donna to live out the life of all Multiverse Donna Troys in the hopes that once they were all killed, Dark Angel (being a version of Donna Troy herself) would be the only remaining one left. Rude.   Her Moonstone – Although her Moonstone is the source of her powers, it often acts against her. For awhile when she was being pushed to the path of good, but couldn’t understand why, it was revealed that the Moonstone’s previous owner’s good was swaying her. Also, if the Moonstone is removed from Karla she will become comatose and can die if it isn’t returned. In some ways, she has, in her quest for power, become more vulnerable.
Edge? R2 – While it’s hilarious that even the Moonstone gives Karla a side eye now and again, Dark Angel is a cruel bitch for making Donna’s life one tragedy after another.   R1 – While Donna’s foe is pretty hardcore, Karla will die without her moonstone and her foe is more original in a comic world where there’s always someone manipulating your life since birth.
Biggest WTF Moment While Donna is pregnant with her son, a future group of Titans comes back to the past to kill both Donna and her unborn child. The reason being that her son is all powerful and becomes a horrible dictator. To change that future, Donna gives up her powers and her son is born a normal baby. Unfortunately her son and husband are killed in a car accident.  
  1. While in the position of leader of the Thunderbolts under Norman Osborn, Karla opted to finish one of her first missions prematurely so that she could bang one of the government agents. Classy.
  2. Moonstone is caught screwing Bullseye in a Tower meeting room in from of H.A.M.M.E.R. agents as her boss, Osborn, watches on a security camera. Oops.
  3. Later, Moonstone is approached by Venom, who tells her that he’s been waking up ‘sticky’ and asks if she can help him. At first, she’s disgusted, but when Daken walks up to her and calls her ‘sweetheart,’ she decides sticky doesn’t sound so bad, and heads off with Venom.
Edge? Moonstone – Does anyone else feel like taking a bath in rubbing alcohol?
Person who should attempt an on-screen portrayal Since I’m of the idea that there are no current actresses who have what it takes to play a convincing Diana I can’t even imagine who would play her younger sister/clone.   Fan favorites seem to be Ali Larter and Katee Sackhoff. I’ll give this one to Katee because, although I haven’t seen anything she’s in, according to the fans and the fact that she’s a Typhoid Mary fan tells me that she’d pull off a blonde crazy pretty well. Plus I have Larter in mind for someone else we haven’t done yet… MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
Edge? Moonstone – Lots of crazy blonde actresses out there. I’m sure we can work something out.

Donna Troy: 5

Moonstone:  6

And the winner is…. Moonstone. Yessss, no need to double check our locks tonight!

17
Dec
10

Nerd Fight: Battle #36

 

It’s that time again. To reiterate, every Friday the Cupcake Rogues will randomly pick 2 characters to do battle – whether it be Marvel, DC, female, male, mutant, human, or human that pretends to be a mutant with magic (I’m looking at you, Juggernaut), they are all possible. Once we’ve randomly selected our two, they will go head to head in several categories with one being deemed winner. The winner will live on to fight another day, but a warning – with 200 possible characters, it may be awhile before round 2 🙂

Thirty-Sixth week in the random selection:

Franklin Richards vs. Gambit

  Franklin Richards   Gambit
Origin Franklin Benjamin Richards is the oldest child of Reed and Sue Richards. During Sue’s pregnancy she exibited precognative powers as well as telekinesis. Turns out baby Franklin was manifesting his powers through his mother. Because of his young age and vast powers, he’s had inhibitors placed inside of him to help control them. He would eventually join Power Pack as Tattletale.   Remy LeBeau was born in New Orleans, Louisiana. Some say he was cast aside when born due to his red on black eyes, while others say he was kidnapped from the hospital. Remy was referred to as “Le Diable Blanc” aka “the white devil” and people believed he was prophesized to unite the warring Thieves’ and Assassins’  Guilds. Remy was placed in the care of Fagan’s Mob, a gang of street thieves who raised him and taught him to be a thief. After living on the streets, at the age of 10, Remy attempted to pick pocket Jean-Luc LeBeau, the patriarch of the Thieves’ Guild. Jean-Luc took in the boy and adopted him into the family. Remy’s powers manifested in his early teens and he tried to keep them a secret. When he was 15, he accompanied his cousin Etienne on his tithing initiation. They were kidnapped by Candra, the immortal mutant they were stealing from, and sold into HYDRA as boy soldiers. Remy managed their escape by charging a playing card and throwing it in the slave trader’s face – thus starting his signature move. The boys jumped off of a cliff into the sea to escape. Remy was rescued, but Etienne drowned, causing one of the many memories that still haunt Remy to this day. When Remy returned to the Guild, he was set to marry Bella Donna. On their wedding day, Bella’s brother, Julien, challenged Remy to a duel. Remy killed him in self-defense and was banished from New Orleans. Remy then traveled the world as a professional thief until his powers grew out of control. It was then that he was taken in by Sinister to get his powers under control and to join the Marauders to pay off his debt.
Edge? Gambit – The day Gambit loses to a Richards is the day we give up The Cupcake Rogues.
Powers/ Abilities Franklin is an omega level mutant posessing vast telekinetic and reality warping powers. He also posesses precognitive abilities that nearly always come to pass. He can project himself onto the astral plane where his powers are limitless. With his reality warping powers at a cosmic level, Franklin has created planets, pocket universe’s, brought back the dead and made life doubles of people. All before his balls have dropped. WHERE WAS HE WHEN WANDA WHISPERED NO  MORE  MUTANTS?!   Gambit’s primary ability is the manipulation of kinetic energy.  He can convert the bio-kinetic energy that his body produces into kinetic energy to charge non-organic matter. AKA Gambit make t’ings go boom. Remy’s natural mutation is extremely powerful. He could charge things with just a thought. At one point, he even meets a man who ends up being himself from another universe that has destroyed all life with his powers. Remy of our world, however, enlisted the help of Mr. Sinister when his powers became out of control. Sinister cut out a piece of his brain that greatly lessened his power, but made it controllable. In Remy’s full power, he can heal himself, block telepaths, and even touch Rogue. At his lesser power, he must touch things to charge them. He also possesses a hypnotic charm that exerts an influence over people and leads them to believe what he says. He is also highly trained in combat and stealth from being raised a prince of thieves.

As Death, Gambit can convert inert materials into toxic substances (such as changing air into poisonous gas) and has the potential to ingest diseases and plagues.

Edge? Franklin Richards – This hurts, but the kid would probably win…Unless Gambit uses his charm to convince Franklin to banish himself to another dimension?
Love Interest Amazingly enough, Franklin has a love interest. In most universe’s he’s linked to Rachel Summers – Another boring character. Together they spawn Hyperstorm – a futuristic despot of amazing powers. Yawwwwn.   Gambit has had the love of plenty of women, but only two really matter. The first is Bella Donna, from the Thieves rival guild, the Assassins. Remy and Bella Donna were arranged to be married to finally bring peace to the guilds.  After the wedding, Bella’s brother Julien challenged Remy to a duel,as he hated the mutant thief. Remy won, killing Julien and resulting in his exile from New Orleans, as well as ending his short marriage. Years later, when Remy joined the X-Men, he found himself falling for none other than the untouchable Rogue. Cruel irony. Rogue and Remy have been on and off for years, mostly because of the fact that she has been, for the most point, untouchable, causing frustration on his end and insecurities on hers. He is currently having an off moment with the belle fille as she figures out her control, but we hope to see them on again soon.
Edge? Gambit – Who in their right mind would choose a plate of steamed broccoli over fine French cusine? A communist, that’s who!
Costume Most of the time Franklin is a little boy so it’s mostly the best Baby Gap (You know Sue Storm shops there) has to offer. He probably runs around in Superman underwear. Suck on that Reed.   Remy wears a suit of light body armor that is magenta on the chest plate (magenta, not pink, comprenez homme?). The magenta color is used to camouflage his power’s glow. He wears his trusty trench coat to carry his extensive amount of thieving tools. He also carries a telescopic staff. When not fighting, he often wears sunglasses to cover his red on black eyes.
Edge? Gambit – How many Franklin Richards have you seen at Comic Con? How many Gambits? We rest our case.
Most Entertaining Personality With the combined genetics of Reed and Sue he can only be obnoxious.   Remy LeBeau is a smooth talking, flirtatious, selfish, half-truth telling, arrogant sonuva. He charms the pants off the ladies and, as Cable so lovingly put it, has a secondary mutation of being annoying to the gents. The women want him, and the men want to be him. You can’t blame dem, non?
Edge? Gambit – While creating galaxies is a swell party trick, Franklin is a fetus, so it’s likely you’d have to hang out with his parents too.
Best story arch During Onslaughts attack, he sought to absorb the energy of X-Man and the reality altering abilities of Franklin Richards. When Franklin was released his powers were at their highest and he created a pocket universe where he resurrected all the people Onslaught had killed.   Upon the return of Apocalypse, Gambit turned himself into the villain to be transformed into one of his Horsemen, Death. Gambit intended to infiltrate himself into Apocalypse’s team in order protect the X-Men from Apocalypse’s attack, but he hadn’t counted on the transformation warping his mind as well as his body. His hair turned white and his skin jet black, and his mind changed to Death. However he did keep a portion of himself, telling Apocalypse “I’m both Death and Gambit.” He also remembered his love for Rogue as he was unable to bring himself to kill her at first. Later, when he and Sunfire returned to the Institute to claim Polaris, Death, in an attempt to cut himself free of ties to Gambit, tried to kill Rogue, and would’ve been successful if not for Pulse neutralizing his powers. After the X-Men defeated Apocalypse, Sunfire helped Gambit to clear him of Apocalypse’s brainwashing. However, a part of Death has always remained. Later, when on a mission for Cyclops, a telepath from H.A.M.M.E.R. releases his “Death” persona once again. Gambit’s appearance turns back to normal and he goes back to the X-Men only to berate Cyclops for letting Rogue go up against Emplate all alone. He struggles with his double personas and leaves the group. In the Second Coming, while in Limbo to rescue Magik, Death emerges from Remy again, stating “Remy’s not home right now.” He transforms teammates Dazzler and Northstar into beings like him. He is then stabbed by Magik and Pixie’s magical swords enabling Gambit to gain control of the Death persona again.
Edge? Gambit – while Franklin’s story is far more impressive in feat, it’s pretty short and over with quickly (just how this battle should be). Gambit’s story is lengthy, ongoing and entertaining (just like Gambit, non ;)?
Hotness I feel the need for a shower even considering this…   A ridiculously handsome, chiseled bad boy with hypnotic charm that speaks French and is dynamo in the sack. He may be the hottest guy in the comic book genre.
Edge? Gambit – This is like Steven Hawking going up against Paris Hilton in a “who’s smarter?” contest.
Fiercest foe How about his dad? Not only is Richards a wife-abusing ass-hat, but he put his son into a coma because they couldn’t control his powers and when Hyperstorm comes a knockin’ he contacts Galactus and offers his diabolical grandson up for dinner.   Mr. Sinister. For much of Remy’s adult life, he’s been haunted by the things he’s been forced to do while indebted to the evil geneticist that gave him control over his powers. Can we say Morlock Massacre? No matter how much Remy’s done for Sinister, he always seems to get called upon again. Even in X-Men: The End, when Remy and Rogue are married with kids, ol’ Sinister is still butting in his life.
Edge? DRAW – As we find out in “X-Men: The End,” Gambit is actually Sinister’s “son” (or clone mixed with Summers genes, ick), so both of these guys have some serious daddy issues.
Biggest WTF Moment I submit all of the information above.   When Courier, New Son’s MALE foot soldier shape shifted into a woman, Remy – knowing full well that he’s really a man – kisses her and claims he’s just trying to “keep everyone on their toes.” I think there might be better ways to do that, Rems.

 

Also, when Remy was temporarily blinded (by his own card exploding in his face), he discovered that he could read playing cards like tarot cards and even predicted an attack from the Brotherhood. OK, Miss Cleo.

Edge? Gambit – We gave Franklin powers because we had to, he’s not getting anything else.
Person who should attempt an on-screen portrayal Great Odin’s Raven – Don’t even suggest such a thing!   Taylor Kitsch played Gambit in the monstrosity that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine. They didn’t even give him red on black eyes or make him utter one “chere,” “homme,” or “mon ami.” Lame.  A better casting for an older Gambit would’ve been Josh Holloway. The fans want to see it before we have to make it X-Men: Retirement Home, Josh.
Edge? Gambit – I don’t think we really need to explain ourselves here.

Franklin Richards: 2

Gambit: 9

And the winner is…. Gambit! And if you’re thinking that he won this battle so easily because he slept with us…. Shut up. *shifts eyes nervously*

 

10
Dec
10

Nerd Fight: Battle #35

It’s that time again. To reiterate, every Friday the Cupcake Rogues will randomly pick 2 characters to do battle – whether it be Marvel, DC, female, male, mutant, human, or human that pretends to be a mutant with magic (I’m looking at you, Juggernaut), they are all possible. Once we’ve randomly selected our two, they will go head to head in several categories with one being deemed winner. The winner will live on to fight another day, but a warning – with 200 possible characters, it may be awhile before round 2 🙂

Thirty-fifth week in the random selection:

Two-Face vs. Enchantress

  Two-Face   Enchantress (Amora Version)
Origin Harvey Dent was kind, handsome, smart and had a passion for justice. He became Gotham City’s District Attorney a mere 6 months before the Batman came on the scene. Though mistrustful of the Bat at first, Harvey would join with him and Captain James Gordon to take down criminal boss, Carmine Falcone. While they managed to coerce Falcone’s rival Sal Maroni into testifying for them, Maroni snuck acid into the courtroom and splashed Harvey in the face. The incident would leave Harvey physically and emotionally scarred. Harvey escaped into the sewers and would emerge as Two-Face. Now leader of a crime gang of his own consisting of some of the heavy hitters in Batman’s Rogues Gallery. Falcone was murdered and it was Two-Face who pulled the trigger.   Amora doesn’t know much about her family. She doesn’t know who her parents are, just that she was born in Asgard and has a sister named Lorelei. Amora learned magic as an apprentice to Karnilla, Queen of Norns, but was eventually banished. She used her ability to seduce others as a means to keep learning magic from those who were more powerful and eventually became one of the more powerful magic-wielders in Asgard.
Edge? Two-Face – Harvey’s origin is much more in depth and interesting than ‘orphan turns skank.’
Powers/ Abilities Two-Face has been trained by Batman himself (more on that later) in hand-to-hand combat. He’s also an excellent marksman and his weapon of choice is usually a gun. Two-Face is also considered a criminal mastermind, having escaped Arkham Asylum on a regular basis.   Amora is an Asgardian, meaning she has superhuman strength, speed, stamina and durability. She can manipulate ambient magical energy, including projecting magical power bolts, interdimensional teleportation, protective energy shields, illusions, levitation, conjuring, transmutation, telekinesis, time-disruption, mind switching and mind control. She’s used her magic to heal injuries and enhance her beauty and allure, including enchanting her lips so she can make men her slaves by kissing them. She is described as the second most powerful sorceress in Asgard.
Edge? Enchantress – Unless Two-Face lets Harvey argue his way out of a fight, Two-Face is going to be a greasy smear on the pavement.
Love Interest Before he became Two-Face, Harvey had a wife named Gilda. Once the Two-Face personality surfaced, she divorced him and married a guy named Janus (named after the two-headed Roman god no doubt). As Two-Face he developed an attraction to police officer Rene Montoya. As she was a lesbian and involved with Batwoman, she wasn’t interested.   Amora is always trying to get into Thor’s pants and, at one point, succeeds while they’re living in New York. Other than that, Amora only deals with men that can do something for her.
Edge? Enchantress – Harvey lost Gilda and Two-Face seemed to think he could make Montoya wanna bat for the other side. Not happening Chief.
Costume Two-Face likes to play up the duality of his personality by wearing opposing looks on either side. For example, one side may be a white suit with a black shirt, while the other is a black suit with a white shirt.   Amora wears a green headpiece, similar to that of the Scarlet Witch’s, along with green sleeves and corset dress. She wears black tights with green circles that mysteriously turn into shoes at the bottom in most pictures.
Edge? DRAW – Two-Face gets points for being the more recognizable,  but we’d rather rock Enchantress’s green getup.
Most Entertaining Personality Harvey Dent and Two-Face are both two separate people in the same body, so you get twice the personality! Two-Face being the dominant tends to be extremely aggressive and relies on his coin to make decisions for him. If he flips it and the side comes up unscarred, you’re golden, if it comes up scarred, you’re  S.O.L.. Two-Face is pretty much incapable of making a decision without it, a fact the Dark Knight has exploited on more than one occasion.   Amora is a self-serving evil wench. But she’s hot, so that makes it OK, right? However, we did find that after Executioner, the lackey she strung along for years to do her biddings who was hopelessly in love with her, died, she was actually sad about it. So maybe there is a heart in there underneath all the bitch.
Edge? Two-Face – Dent is exciting! Plus, Two-Face and Harvey are known to have  arguments with one another which = Hilarious.
Best story arch There’s two (of course there is)…

 

When a massive earthquake nearly levels Gotham in the “No Mans Land” storyline, its criminals take over easily. Commissioner Gordon attempts to hold the city together and Two-Face kidnaps him for his interference. Two-Face states he’s putting Gordon on trial for his crimes and he’ll be the judge, jury and executioner. Commissioner Gordon proves he’s one crafty mother by demanding Harvey Dent as his defense lawyer. Dent and Two-Face go on to argue against each other with Dent coming out the winner! Gordon was acquitted and Harvey tasted sweet victory.

 

Another story has Batman offering to train Harvey to be a vigilante after Harvey was able to rid himself of the Two-Face personality for a time. Dent accepted and after relentless training, took over for Batman and kept Gotham safe for a year while Batman went gallivanting off to who knows where. When Batman returned, Harvey felt useless. These thoughts brought about the reemergence of the Two-Face personality. Two-Face being dominant again, destroys the reconstructed side of Harvey’s face with acid and a scalpel.

  In Enchantress’ first appearance, she and Skurge, the Executioner aided Loki and tried to eliminate Thor’s love interest, Jane Foster, in order to have him for herself. She strung along the Executioner so that he would be her bodyguard, although she did not return his love. She attempted to seduce Thor in his Don Blake identity while sending the Executioner to kill Jane. They were able to exile Jane to another dimension, but Thor wasn’t having Enchantress’ nonsense and eventually got Jane back. Odin exiled Enchantress and the Executioner to Earth for their deeds where they became members of Baron Zemo’s original Masters of Evil.
Edge? Two-Face – His stories are both amazing and sad at the same time.  We were pleasantly surprised to find out how complex Two-Face really is.
Hotness Which side are you looking at? Before his original scarring took place Dent was called Apollo because of his good looks. Afterwards the left side of his face looks like something that would make Deadpool barf.   Amora is a buxom blonde that spends her free time seducing poor chaps into doing things for her. Odds are, you’d do whatever she tells you to.
Edge? Enchantress – Amora has made herself the most physically beautiful woman in the world, add her knack for seducing anything with a pulse and men (and some chicks) don’t stand a chance.
Fiercest foe Batman and Harvey Dent. While Batman foils Two-Face’s plans, Harvey Dent is a CONSTANT threat to Two-Face.  Harvey once decided to throw himself off a building in an attempt to kill Two-Face. This was thwarted by Batman who saved him at the last minute.   Thor and Loki. While Thor is often in her sights to seduce, because she is often on the side of evil makes them natural enemies. However, Loki is the one that delivers Amora’s death with a strike from her Mjolnir duplicate. She also has a long-standing feud with Scarlet Witch.
Edge? DRAW – These two don’t mess around, when it comes to picking an arch-nemesis, they go for the cream of the crop.
Biggest WTF Moment When Harvey Dent’s ex wife Gilda remarries, she becomes pregnant with twins. Two-Face is furious, considering it a betrayal and kidnaps the babies. However, it’s revealed that the children are actually Harvey’s as his sperm was frozen years ago. Two-Face feels like a world class ass-hat and decides to give the babies back.   When Amora finally had feelings for someone, Heimdall, she battled the powerful entity Nightmare and risked her life on his behalf when he was unable to protect himself. However, when he said he wanted to marry her, she decided it would be a good time to break it off.
Edge? Two-Face – How did Two-Face not recall he had his sperm frozen? Harvey probably never told him. Jerk.
Person who should attempt an on-screen portrayal Aaron Eckhart played Harvey Dent and Two-Face in The Dark Knight and he was marvelous. He captured not only the earnestness of Dent, but the murderous rage of Two-Face.   The threads on Superhero Hype tell me that fans would want Amber Heard or Sienna Miller to play the Enchantress. Amber Heard is hot, but I’m not sure about her acting abilities, and she seems a bit young. Sienna Miller, in my opinion isn’t attractive enough to be considered one of the most beautiful women in the world. I’m going to go with ScarJo as my pick. She’s busty, beautiful and she’s done the seductive thing. Plus we need a different Black Widow, seriously.
Edge? Two-Face – Seeing as how Eckhart’s already done Two-Face proud we’ve gotta go with him.

 

Two-Face: 7

Enchantress: 5

And the winner is…. Two-Face proving that two heads really are better than one. *ducks to miss flying tomatoes*

 

03
Dec
10

Nerd Fight: Battle #34

It’s that time again. To reiterate, every Friday the Cupcake Rogues will randomly pick 2 characters to do battle – whether it be Marvel, DC, female, male, mutant, human, or human that pretends to be a mutant with magic (I’m looking at you, Juggernaut), they are all possible. Once we’ve randomly selected our two, they will go head to head in several categories with one being deemed winner. The winner will live on to fight another day, but a warning – with 200 possible characters, it may be awhile before round 2 🙂

Thirty-fourth week in the random selection:

Superman vs. Sinister

  Superman   Sinister
Origin Like you don’t already know this…Baby Kal-El was born on Krypton, a dying planet in a galaxy far, far away.  When his father Jor-El (a highly regarded scientist) discovered his planet was doomed, he and his wife Lara placed their infant son in a space ship and sent it on its merry way to Earth. The Alien baby was discovered by John and Martha Kent. The Kents decided to adopt him and named him Clark. Clark would discover that he had amazing powers and felt it his duty to help others.   Nathaniel Essex has two versions of his origin. The first is that he appeared to be an 11-year old boy in an orphanage with Scott Summers. In actuality, his mind was roughly 50 years old, and he ran the orphanage. Essex’s lifespan is said to be roughly a thousand years by creators, therefore his appearance did not match his mind. The second origin is that he was a scientist from the 19th century obsessed with evolution who made a pact with Apocalypse to become virtually immortal. Origin differences aside, later he shows up as leader of the Marauders during the mutant massacre. It’s revealed that Sinister has been manipulating Cyclops’ life since early childhood and has even cloned Jean Grey in order to get Cyclops to produce a child with her. From then on, Sinister is a constant in the X-Men’s lives, particularly with members Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Gambit.
Edge? Superman – It’s simple yet powerful.  Sinister’s, while interesting is convoluted at best.
Powers/ Abilities Superman’s powers are derived from the yellow Sun of this solar system. Because of it he has super strength, endurance, longevity, durability, hearing, sight, breath and laser eyes! While Superman is pretty much indestructible, he does have a few weaknesses. He cannot see through lead and he is vulnerable to magical attacks. His one true weakness though is Kryptonite – the radioactive remnants of his home world that followed him to Earth. Exposure to the green stuff weakens him and makes him sick, prolonged exposure is lethal.   Essex has a genius level intellect, especially when it comes to genetics, biology, and cloning. On top of that, he has superhuman strength, durability and longevity, telepathy, telekinesis, and molecular manipulation, which allows him to heal himself and shape shift.
Edge? Superman – This might be a real throw down, if Sinister could strike Supes telepathically he might stand a chance, but most likely, Essex would just be too distracted at the thought of what he could do with Kryptonian DNA, giving Supes the opportunity to pound him into oblivion.
Love Interest Lana Lang, Lori Lemaris, Lyla Lerrol  – none of these chicks has gotten to the Man of Steel quite like Lois Lane. They’ve been co-workers, rivals, friends, lovers and husband and wife.   Sinister biggest love is, and always will be, mutant DNA! Genetics is a jealous b*tch that doesn’t let him give his time to a woman. Plus the whole Dracula look only works for those silly Twi-tards.
Edge? Superman – A strand of DNA isn’t going to keep you warm at night…Freak.
Costume Though he’s been given a black and silver costume as well as a blue or red costume with a lightning bolt motif, Superman always goes back to the red, yellow and blue costume. Maybe it’s because he likes to wear his underwear on the outside, maybe it’s because he’s a great big mama’s boy (Martha made the original suit!) or maybe it’s because his fans will picket DC headquarters if they try to change his iconic look again. Whatever the reason (it’s the third one) it works for him.   Dracula-chic. Sinister has chalky white skin with jet-black hair, red eyes, and a red diamond on his forehead. He wears an inexplicably evil-looking costume with a ridiculous shredded cape that he, for some reason, thought would look most fearsome in a purpley, bluish black color, depending on who’s drawing him.  In other words, his costume is awesome.
Edge? Superman – How many little kids are clamoring for Mr. Sinister costumes for Halloween? We rest our case.
Most Entertaining Personality People like to dismiss Superman as a Big Blue Boy Scout, and frankly, he can be a little rigid. But if you were the super hero everyone else was measured against, you’d probably feel the pressure to be a goody two shoes too.

 

  Sinister is one of those ridiculous villains that has his hand in everything and likes to explain, at length, how genius his evil plan was while the hero thinks of a way to escape. Science smarts, yes. Street smarts, not so much.
Edge? Sinister – Evil, maniacal genius = more entertaining dinner guest than a boy scout.
Best story arch In War of the Supermen, Superman and the rest of Earth’s heroes go up against a crazed General Zod (is there any other kind?) Zod has declared war on Earth when he discovers that General Lane and Lex Luthor assisted Brainiac’s assault on New Krypton. While Zod’s super powered troops are on a rampage on Earth, Reactron is on New Krypton and succeeds in blowing it to pieces. Supergirl, who barely escapes with her life is bent on revenge, but is calmed down by Superman who convinces her that they have to stop both sides or they’ll destroy each other. Back on Earth, Lex Luthor launches a missle into space and creates a red sun, effectively nullifying all the Kryptonians powers, including Superman and Supergirl’s until Flamebird turns the sun yellow again. Eventually both groups are defeated; General Lane commits suicide rather than answer for his crimes against humanity and Zod is sent back to the Phantom Zone by his own son.

 

  During the Messiah Complex, while Rogue’s powers had been upped to an instant death touch, Mystique pushed Sinister’s face against Rogue’s, killing him instantly. Once he died, his Cronus Machine activated his genetic code that he had implanted decades ago into 5 mutants – Cain Marko (Juggernaut), Amanda Mueller (Black Womb), Sebastian Shaw, Carter Ryking (Hazard), and Charles Xavier. Every 24 hours the genetic code hopped from one of the 5 mutants to the next, trying to gain control of a weakened body. Sinister was finally reborn through Xavier when Charles was shot by one of Mueller’s mercenaries. Sebastian Shaw and Gambit joined forces to destroy the Cronus Machine and eventually Charles is able to regain control of his mind, driving Sinister out. But, of course, we know that Sinister always has a back up plan… enter: Miss Sinister (see WTF moment).
Edge? R2 – DRAW –  This is tough. On one hand Sinister’s is original, and on the other, Superman’s is pretty grand scale. I’m not choosing between them and you can’t make me.   R1 – Sinister – I know, surprising, right? Well, although Supes’ story is bigger, we’ve heard the “world was almost destroyed” many times before. Sinister pulls off an original storyline that showcases his evil genius.
Hotness The Last Son of Krypton is a black haired, blue eyed hottie. The farm-boy muscles and charm don’t hurt either.   Well, for some stupid reason vampire-looking creatures are totally “in” right now, so I’m sure SOMEBODY might throw his crazy, pale ass a lay.
Edge? Superman – Anyone for a pity-lay? Anyone? Crickets…
Fiercest foe Lex Luthor! Lex was originally your run-of-the-mill evil scientist bent on ruling the world. But he’s tried his hand at everything from criminal mastermind, to corporate billionaire, to president of the United States. Lex and Superman go together like Batman and the Joker, or Professor X and Magneto.   The X-Men are his greatest foe and his greatest asset, specifically Scott Summers, Jean Grey, and Remy LeBeau. Sinister has created a clone of Jean Grey to breed with Scott Summers and create a child to kill Apocalypse. In X-Men: The End storyline, it was revealed that Gambit is actually a clone made up of Sinister and Cyclops’ genetic make up. Although these people are usually the ones trying to stop him, they also provide him with the excellent genes he’s obsessed with.
Edge? Superman – Lu-THOR is the peanut butter to Supes’ jelly. Sinister is only as committed as your DNA is impressive.
Biggest WTF Moment Oh there are so many…From Krypto the Super Dog to the many different colors of Kryptonite (Pink makes Supes gay!) to the red underwear on the OUTSIDE of his clothes to the overabundance of LL names. You can take your pick.   Like our beloved Thor, Sinister was turned into a female version of himself, Miss Sinister.  Or, more accurately, Mister Sinister created a daughter that upon Sinister’s death would awaken and transform into a new Mister Sinister.
Edge? Superman – PINK KRYPTONITE…Game, set, match.
Person who should attempt an on-screen portrayal There have been several men who’ve been in Superman’s tights, (unintentional double entendre!) but no one has bested Christopher Reeves performance in the Superman movies. He truly got that Superman was the real identity while Clark Kent was the disguise. While the movies themselves were a product of their time, Reeves Superman was spot on, and everything you could want the Man of Steel to be.   RALPH FIENNES and no one else. Have you seen Ralph Fiennes as Lord Voldemort? As Hades in Clash of the Titans? Yes, Ralph Fiennes IS Mister Sinister.
Edge? R2 – Superman – While I believe Fiennes was born to play Sinister, Hollywood has yet to see the light.   R1 – DRAW – While Christopher Reeves IS Superman, I can’t deny the epicness of Ralph Fiennes as a baddie.

Superman: 10

Sinister:  4

And the winner is….  Superman! Duh, Sinister would kill even some of his favorite X-Men to get his hands on some Supes DNA.

 

 

26
Nov
10

Nerd Fight: Battle #33

It’s that time again. To reiterate, every Friday the Cupcake Rogues will randomly pick 2 characters to do battle – whether it be Marvel, DC, female, male, mutant, human, or human that pretends to be a mutant with magic (I’m looking at you, Juggernaut), they are all possible. Once we’ve randomly selected our two, they will go head to head in several categories with one being deemed winner. The winner will live on to fight another day, but a warning – with 200 possible characters, it may be awhile before round 2 🙂

Thirty-third week in the random selection:

Deathbird vs. Juggernaut

  Deathbird   Juggernaut
Origin Cal’syee Neramani is the oldest of the four Neramani children and first in line to the Shi’ar throne. Due to a prophecy that said she would commit great evil, she was denied her place in the succession. In an effort to prove what a great ruler she would be, she decided to murder her mother and sister. This didn’t go over well with the rest of the Shi’ar and Cal’syee was subsequently banished. Fleeing to Earth (Where else?) She took the name Deathbird and became a frequent nemesis to Ms. Marvel.   Cain Marko first met Charles Xavier when his father married Charles’ mother. They were enemies from the start. Later on, Marko found a hidden temple dedicated to the entity Cyttorak while stationed in Korea when he was serving in the Army with his stepbrother Xavier. Marko finds a ruby in the temple and reads the scripture aloud to become a human Juggernaut.
Edge? Deathbird – Change Cyttorak to Olmec and you’ve got Legends of the Hidden Temple!
Powers/ Abilities Deathbird has all the traits common to the Shi’ar including enhanced strength, feathers and hollow bones. But being a “genetic throwback” she also possesses characteristics of her more bestial ancestors such as extra feathers that allow her to fly under her own power and razor-sharp talons.  She has stated that her strength is on par with Gladiator.   Cain Marko turns into the Juggernaut with the gem of the mystical entity Cyttorak’s magical powers. As the Juggernaut, Marko has superhuman strength capable of shattering mountains and lifting buildings and a magical force field that provides invulnerability to it’s maximum. Even when the force field was temporarily absorbed by Thor’s Hammer, the Juggernaut withstood blows from Thor due to his extreme durability. He is unstoppable once in motion and does not tire or need food, water or oxygen to survive. I know what you’re thinking… “So, Cupcake Rogues, how do you kill this ridiculous mother scruncher?” Well, settle down, kids. The Juggernaut is vulnerable to mental attacks when his helmet is removed.  “Silly b*tch, you cannot harm me!”
Edge? Deathbird – Although Juggy is unstoppable, Gladiator tossed him like a rag doll…. Therefore Deathbird should be able to do the same.
Love Interest Deathbird has had two – The first being Bishop. They met while the Phalanx was invading Earth. Deathbird was impressed that he wasn’t afraid of her crazy ass. Things went sour during the maximum security event. Fighting on opposing sides, Deathbird dared Bishop to kill her but before he could answer she opened an airlock and was sucked into space.

 

Deathbird would later meet Vulcan during a Shi’ar prison break. They would marry in front of the M’Kraan Crystal and decided to celebrate by killing Charles Xavier and D’Ken.

  There’s a universe when Marko has a crush on Rogue, as they live in the same trailer park. There’s also the fact that he’s had a one night stand with She-Hulk that she refuses to admit (what? You want a picture? OK – below). That’s about the extent of Juggy’s love life, but he does have some killer pick up lines. “I like ya raincoat, b*tch.”
Edge? Draw – how do you compare Jherri-curl to love in a trailer park?  The answer, you don’t.
Costume Feathers. Lots and lots of pink and purple feathers! There’s usually a matching bodysuit on there somewhere.   Red metal plated tank top and pants with a carved out salad bowl for a helmet and pretty metal bracelets. Of course we wouldn’t say any of this to his face, but still… “Ooo, my suit’s so tight!” “I’m bad! I’m the baddest mutha f*cka in the world. Have you ever seen a costume like mine?”
Edge? Juggernaut – Yes, it’s ridiculous, but it’s recognizable. Plus, can you imagine how Deathbird looks during molting season?
Most Entertaining Personality Insanity clearly runs in the Neramani blood-line. Deathbird seems like a chick who will kill yo ass for pie.   Umm, have you seen the “I’m the Juggernaut, b*tch!” YouTube video?
Edge? Juggernaut – “I’m the Juggernaut, b*tch” – Watch the video now!
Best story arch Some time after her sister Lilandra inherited the title of Majestrix of the Shi’ar empire, Deathbird decided she wanted the throne after all and allied herself with Lord Samedar and the Brood.  The X-Men beat her allies, but Deathbird was able to supplant Lilandra. Later she was deposed herself by War Skrulls and she joined with the X-Men to defeat them. After all she went through to get the throne, she decided she was over it and left the Majestrix title once again, to Lilandra.   Black Tom Cassidy creates a ruse to align the Juggernaut with the X-Men to destroy the team from within. Black Tom then openly betrays the Juggernaut, so he decides to remain with the X-Men and truly try to change his ways. He befriends a young mutant, Sammy Paré, who helps Marko reform. However, when Paré finds out that Black Tom is preparing to attack the X-Men, he is killed. The Juggernaut attacks Black Tom to get vengeance, and the battle strands all participants in the alternate dimension of Mojoverse. Once he reappears, he decides that he cannot be reformed and remains a villain. “Comb yo’ beard, I don’t wanna hear that sh*t!”
Edge? Juggernaut – We like when baddies try to reform. We like it even more when they realize good is dumb.
Hotness Deathbird looks pretty much like you think she will, a crazy-eyed chick with an overabundance of feathers – and a sweet rack.   If you like them as big as a house and meaner than a junkyard dog, Cain Marko’s your man.
Edge? Deathbird – Boobs always triumph – Always.
Fiercest foe Lilandra – These two really just need to fight it out in a pit full of jello already.   Charles Xavier, Cain’s stepbrother. When Charles joined the family, Marko felt that he became the favorite and has never gotten over it. “CHA-LES, NOOO! I’m trippin’ off acid!”
Edge? Juggernaut – You do NOT want the greatest telepath in the world as your brother – or your fiercest foe.
Biggest WTF Moment She ditched a man with the sweetest Jheri-curl ever for a Summers brother.   When Juggernaut runs into Dazzler, he decides he doesn’t want to fight her because he’s such a huge fan of her music. FAIL. “
Edge? Juggernaut – The only thing worse than a Dazzler groupie  is a Summers groupie.
Person who should attempt an on-screen portrayal How about Marcia Cross? She looks like she could flip out on you at any minute.   Vinnie Jones played the Juggernaut in “the X-Men movie we do not speak of.” For some reason he was British and not related to Xavier, but at least he said one thing right. “I’M THE JUGGERNAUT, B*TCH!”
Edge? Juggernaut – Yes, Marcia could play Deathbird. But does anyone really want to see it? Yeah, we thought not.

Deathbird: 4

Juggernaut: 7

And the winner is…. I’M THE JUGGERNAUT, B*TCH!!!!!!

And, the ever-awesome Juggernaut parody. Be warned of profanity, vulgarity, and overall awesomeness.