19
Nov
10

Nerd Fight: Battle #32

It’s that time again. To reiterate, every Friday the Cupcake Rogues will randomly pick 2 characters to do battle – whether it be Marvel, DC, female, male, mutant, human, or human that pretends to be a mutant with magic (I’m looking at you, Juggernaut), they are all possible. Once we’ve randomly selected our two, they will go head to head in several categories with one being deemed winner. The winner will live on to fight another day, but a warning – with 200 possible characters, it may be awhile before round 2 🙂

Thirty-second week in the random selection:

Sabretooth vs. Monet St. Croix

  Sabretooth   Monet St. Croix
Origin Victor Creed was originally an assassin introduced in an Iron Fist comic but quickly found his niche as the foil to everyone’s favorite runt, Wolverine. He is considered one of the most vicious and sadistic of killers, earning him a spot on many unsavory teams. Victor has been a part of Team X which is where he first met Logan, Silver Fox, Wraith and Maverick, as well as Sinister’s Marauders where he helped wipe out almost the entire group of Morlocks in the Mutant Massacre. Sabretooth has had his mind tampered with so many times that it’s unknown if any of his memories are true or not. Although, one of his earliest involves killing his brother Luthor because he wouldn’t share a piece of pie with little Victor. This leads his father to keep Victor chained up like an animal in the families basement and ritualistically yanking the little boys overlong canines out every time they grow back. Victor begged his mother to let him go, but fearing what her husband would do to her she allowed the abuse to continue. Eventually Victor gnawed off his own arm in a bid for freedom and killed both his parents for his suffering.   Monet Yvette Clarisse Maria Therese St. Croix (stop it) was born to a Bosnian Ambassador and his Algerian wife. She grew up the favorite child and became spoiled and pompous. When her mother mysteriously died, her brother Marius, the vampiric mutant, known as Emplate, who feeds off of mutant bone marrow, was banished from the St. Croix home. When he requested that Monet join him in conquering another dimension with the dark arts, she cruelly rejected him, Marius transformed her into a red-skinned, untouchable, mute creature that he named Penance. Their younger twin sisters, when unable to find Monet, banished Marius to another dimension, assuming that he killed her. Monet followed Marius, believing it was her only hope to revert back to normal. Fearing that their father would break down at the loss of his favorite child, the twins, Nicole and Claudette, merge bodies and replicate Monet, both physically and mentally. Their version would’ve been identical if it weren’t for Claudette’s autism, which occasionally caused “Monet” to become catatonic.  Marius tortured the real Monet for years before he escaped back to Earth, still in her Penance form. After an extremely taxing, never ending fight between all four of the siblings, the twins merged with Penance, freeing Monet in the process.
Edge? DRAW – both were shackled up and tortured by their own family members. Somebody call Oprah.
Powers/ Abilities Victor’s primary mutation is an accelerated healing factor, a slowed ageing process, razor sharp claws, and canines, as well as superhuman senses . He’s had his speed, agility and strength enhanced several times and has even had an adamantium skeleton for a time. He’s also resistant to telepathic manipulation.   Monet is so awesome it’s almost boring. She has superhuman strength, speed, agility, dexterity, reflexes, coordination, balance, vision, hearing, and endurance. Tired yet? Well that’s not all. She also has genius level intellect, invulnerability, accelerated healing factor, supersonic flight, telepathy and, if that wasn’t enough, the ability to perceive mutant auras. Why not?
Edge? M – Because apparently the writers thought it would be cool to give her every power possible with no time left for a likeable personality. .
Love Interest Victor doesn’t have the time or the inclination to woo frails. He once had a relationship with Mystique while she was disguised as German spy Leni Zauber. But she faked “Leni’s” death to get away from him. This odd pairing would produce the little ray of sunshine known as Graydon Creed, head of the Friends of Hunamity and all around mutant hater. Then there’s Birdy, Victor’s short-lived girl Friday. A low level telepath, Birdy would produce what Victor called “The Glow” – a telepathic blast that would numb his most painful memories and calm his more sadistic tendencies. While Birdy is the only person we know of that Creed has said he would actually miss, when she was killed, he simply stepped over her body and went on his merry way.   While Monet was involved in a sticky (not literally, get your head out of the gutter) love triangle with Siryn and Multiple Man, her real love was with Synch, who ended up dying in her arms after sacrificing himself to stop an exploding bomb placed in the school by Emma Frost’s sister, Adrienne.
Edge? M – While Victor Creed saying he’d miss you for 2 or 3 minutes is his equivalent to “I love you”, he’s not sacrificing himself for ANYONE. Not to mention that any sexual encounter with him would probably leave you with serious internal bleeding.
Costume Victor varies it up. Sometimes it’s designer suits and sometimes it’s old animal hides. Whatever he’s wearing you can be sure of one thing. He will kill yo ass for pie.   Monet has had many different costumes but they’ve all been varying forms of red bodysuits, starting with a bright red and yellow leather suit to a more recent blood-red sleeveless bodysuit with gloves and a cape.
Edge? Sabretooth – you know who wears animal hides? Old rich ladies and bad asses. Guess which one Vic is.
Most Entertaining Personality The finer points of Victor’s personality can be spelled out as ABC. Arrogance – Victor is just about the baddest mother f-er around and he likes to make sure his enemies don’t forget that. Who else would seek out the Wolverine every year on his birthday with the intention of beating the snot out of him? Belligerence – Vic never wakes up on the good side of the bed. This is a man who killed his brother over a SLICE OF PIE!! Crass – One of Victor’s more charming attributes – He delights in horrifying and disgusting people. The bigger reaction from his prey, the happier he is.   Monet is a snooty bi-atch. She’s like Emma Frost, but not as entertaining.  Although part of the reason for her harshness is to cover her fear and vulnerability from being stuck in the Penance form for so long and tortured by her brother, let’s be honest – she was a b*tch before that even happened.
Edge? Sabretooth – he killed his own brother for a slice of pie. Not even a WHOLE pie. A SLICE.
Best story arch After Birdy is murdered, Victor goes on a huge killing spree, eventually encountering Charles Xavier.  Xavier is able to infiltrate Victor’s mind and discovers that he remembers every kill he’s ever made. Being the eternal optimist that he is, Charles feels that this is proof that deep down Victor really does value human life and decides to work with him. As Victor is a wanted murderer, Charles wisely decides to keep him in a holographic chamber away from everyone else. While Sabretooth isn’t crazy about working with the X-Men, he stays on for a while and even lends a hand in a few battles. Unfortunately, Logan returns after getting his adamantium skeleton back and the two immediately clash. Victor is on the losing end of this battle and receives a claw to the brain which effectively lobotomizes him.  Left in an almost kitten-like state he’s looked over by a lonely Boomer who tells seemingly uncomprehending Victor her secrets and fears. Victor finally reveals that he’s been recovered from his brain injury for quite some time and is now free of his need for “the Glow”. He tricks Boomer into freeing him and nearly kills Psylocke in his attempt to escape. The X-Men are able to take him down and turn him over to Valerie Cooper who forces him (by way of a controlling collar) to join X-Factor. This is just what Creed wants however, as he’s been hired by the government to take down uncontrollable members of the government sponsored group.   After years of being food for Emplate, Monet – as Penance – was found by a teleporter known as Gateway and brought to Generation X, where her twin sisters were currently posing as her. When Emplate came back to reclaim his meal, Generation X saved Penance and beat Emplate, but still no one knew that Penance was, in fact, Monet. Later on, after a battle with the Prine Sentinels, fake “Monet” was hit by an explosion and knocked unconscious. When Synch went to find “Monet” he instead found the twin sisters in a coma. Later, when Emplate returned, the twins merged with him, creating a persona called “M-Plate,” and thus learning what happened to the real Monet. Upon learning this, the twins kept this secret for awhile until Synch accidently synched with the twins’ telepathy and figured it out. Synch convinced Nicole to tell the rest of the team the truth. They merged with Penance, freeing Monet while trapping themselves into the Penance form.
Edge? Sabretooth – You can’t trust that old man with a 10 ft. pole.
Hotness Victor most closely resembles the wrestler Triple H. Or Liev Schrieber in R2’s fantasies. So if you’re into enormous blonde dudes with fangs, claws and severe blood-lust, you’re in luck.   M is a tan, brunette hottie with body, but that doesn’t make up for the superior attitude.
Edge? M – She’s more universally hot, and while she’s a super bitch the fact remains – Victor will kill yo ass for pie.
Fiercest foe Who else but Wolverine? Though no one is sure how their feuding started, whether it was Victor killing Logan’s lover Silver Fox or just WAY too much testosterone. Recently, Logan had had enough of Victor’s brutality and cut off his head with the Muramasa blade. Victor is currently residing in Hell, but we wouldn’t be surprised if he manages to find his way back to the living.   Emplate – her brother, Marius, really did a number on Monet’s mental health, but if your brother fed off of your marrow for years you’d be a little messed up too.
Edge? Sabretooth – There’s few characters (if any) that the Cupcake Rogues find more repugnant than Emplate. But something about the fights between “The Runt” and “The Old Man” warms our nerd hearts.
Biggest WTF Moment Where do I start?

 

In the AoA storyline Sabretooth was not only a good guy, but a surrogate father to Blink.

 

Chris Claremont originally intended for Victor to be Logan’s father.

 

Sabretooth twice engages the Black Cat in a fight and is beaten both times. Really?

 

Sabretooth fights, and loses to Caliban. (Is this real life?) The once meek Caliban succeeds in breaking Creed’s back. What’s even more surprising is that once Creed’s healed up, he doesn’t immediately go and kick Caliban’s pale  ass.

 

And lastly…You know where I’m going with this …

  Monet’s fling with Jamie, in which she didn’t realize she was with a dupe and not the real thing.
Edge? Sabretooth – Victor will kill yo ass for pie!
Person who should attempt an on-screen portrayal Though Sabes fans were initially doubtful, Liev Schreiber’s Victor Creed was sadistic, manipulative and HOT! Seriously, it takes a fine actor to make girls swoon over a murderer/rapist/monster like Vic.   Google tells me that people are suggesting Jessica Lucas for the role. I’m not sure if she’s a good actress or not but she looks the part. Another good candidate is Zoe Saldana. If anyone’s seen her in Center Stage, you know she can play a b*tch, plus she has that “what in the hell nationality is she?” look.
Edge? Sabretooth – Because Liev Schreiber was easily the best part of X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

Sabretooth: 7

Monet St. Croix:  4

And the winner is…. Sabretooth… why, kids? Everybody, say it together now – Cuz he will KILL YO’ ASS FOR PIE!

 

 

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6 Responses to “Nerd Fight: Battle #32”


  1. November 20, 2010 at 12:05 am

    Tooth’s WTF moment with Black Cat, she has that crazy pseudo-magic lucky factor that would keep her alive. I don’t know the origins of it, but she gets good luck while everyone else around her gets the short end of the stick.

    • November 20, 2010 at 10:41 am

      Sounds similar to Domino’s power. Those non-tangible powers seem kind of lame to me.
      -R1

      • November 23, 2010 at 4:58 am

        I like Domino a lot. They don’t show her powers too much, but they talk about it sometimes, which lets me kind of ignore it. In Marvel, I know of three heroes that have luck based powers: Longshot, Domino, and Black Cat. As a mutant, I don’t get it. As a magical effect… okay, I’ll accept it.

        That power set manipulates probability. Couldn’t someone mess with that and create a black hole or something else horrible? Maybe that’s the new Marvel event, The Luck Wars staring Longshot, Domino, Black Cat and Squirrel Girl. I don’t know about that last one, but since she can beat Doom, what else could her powers be?

      • November 23, 2010 at 9:30 am

        I like Domino too – I think she’s bad ass without the powers. Her powers just make me think the writers were stumped or lazy. “I dunno, just give her good luck.” And don’t forget that Squirrel Girl bested Deadpool too. WTF?
        -R1

  2. November 20, 2010 at 11:40 am

    I believe he also broke some teeth when he tried to bite her leg off because she had a crowbar hidden in there. I find it hard to believe Felicia could hide ANYTHING in that suit of hers.

  3. November 23, 2010 at 4:50 am

    She doesn’t hide much…


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