12
Nov
10

Nerd Fight: Battle #31

It’s that time again. To reiterate, every Friday the Cupcake Rogues will randomly pick 2 characters to do battle – whether it be Marvel, DC, female, male, mutant, human, or human that pretends to be a mutant with magic (I’m looking at you, Juggernaut), they are all possible. Once we’ve randomly selected our two, they will go head to head in several categories with one being deemed winner. The winner will live on to fight another day, but a warning – with 200 possible characters, it may be awhile before round 2 🙂

Thirty-first week in the random selection:

Martian Manhunter vs. Batgirl (Cassandra Cain)

  Martian Manhunter   Batgirl (Cassandra Cain)
Origin J’onn J’onzz was a Martian Manhunter (a Martian policeman/detective) on his home planet of Mars. He had a wife, a daughter, and an insane brother named Ma’alefa’ak. Ma’alefa’ak had been stripped of his fellow Martians’ innate telepathic ability for mind “raping” another. Embittered over his punishment, he created a plague that preyed upon a Martians weakness to fire. J’onn was unable to stop him and very quickly became the last of his race. He wandered alone in the dusts of Mars for years until he was accidentally teleported to Earth by a scientist named Dr. Erdel. Erdel had discovered lost Martian technology that had been left on earth by a careless Martian traveler and was testing it out. Upon J’onn’s arrival, the poor Dr. had a sudden heart attack and died. While alone on Mars, J’onn had nearly lost his mind, but found new purpose on Earth. Using his natural shape-shifting abilities, he traveled the world in many forms including animals. He was particularly attached to the identity of John Jones, a deceased police detective.

J’onn first experiment with super-heroism was as the Bronze Wraith. He kept his appearance human and only used his strength and psychic abilities. It’s been revealed that before he became the Bronze Wraith, J’onn sensed the approach of an alien spacecraft and upon investigating the vessel, found it contained an infant. With the appearance of a human couple, J’onn made himself invisible and allowed the couple to take the alien child. He would later come back and check up on the boy, named Clark Kent to assure himself that the child, whose powers J’onn had sensed wouldn’t grow into a monster. Years later, an alien invasion prompted J’onn to help Green Lantern, The Flash, Aquaman and Black Canary in his alien form. From that point on J’onn, the aforementioned superheroes, as well as Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman would fight alongside eachother as the Justice League of America.

  David Cain lured Lady Shiva (before she became Lady Shiva) into a trap, letting her free on the conditions that she bore his child and left, letting him raise her as he pleased. She agreed, and nine months later Cassandra Cain was born. Cassandra was deprived of speech and human contact during most of her childhood while being conditioned to become the world’s greatest assassin. Cain made her murder a businessman when she was 8 years old. As the man died, she read his body language to see what he was feeling and, realizing the horror she caused, ran away from Cain. Cassandra then discovers that Lady Shiva can read people in the same way she can. Lady Shiva agrees to train her under the condition that in a year they fight to the death. As Cassandra was bred to feel that a year of perfection is worth more than a lifetime of mediocrity, she accepts. When a year has passed, they fight and Lady Shiva kills Cassandra. She restarts her heart, claiming that Cassandra has a death wish and demanding a real fight. They fight again and Cassandra defeats, but does not kill, Lady Shiva.
Edge? R1 – Martian Manhunter – Have I mentioned I love stories with the bat-sh*t crazies?   R2 – DRAW – J’onn’s is epic and Cassandra’s is pretty messed up yet original. I approve both.
Powers/ Abilities J’onn’s physical strength, durability, flight, speed and stamina are all on par with Supermans. He can also regenerate his entire body from the smallest piece and shape-shift his body due to the level of control he has over his molecular structure. J’onn is also the most powerful telepath in the DC universe, having messed with the minds of the Spectre and Dr. Fate.  Heightened vision, lung capacity, longer lifespan, a sonic scream and telekinesis are just a few more of his abilities.   Cassandra is a born and bred assassin. However, although she is an expert martial artist and body language reader, she remains mute, is illiterate and has very limited social skills. At one point a telepath rewires her brain so that she can understand and speak English, but even then speech is extremely difficult for her; often using wrong words or prolonged pauses.
Edge? Martian Manhunter – Yeah, ummm, he’s impressive… but can he juggle?
Love Interest Before his race was annihilated he was married to a female Martian named M’yri’ah whom he loved very much. After his resurrection in Brightest Day, J’onn encountered another surviving Green Martian named D’Kay D’Razz. Unfortunately, she was disfigured and totally insane. That didn’t stop her from trying to get into J’onn’s pants though.   Not much to tell. However, she was smitten with Conner Kent for a while. He was her first kiss and she went to visit him in Smallville. But, it didn’t last. C’est la vie.
Edge? Martian Manhunter –  Hello, more bat sh*t crazies. He’s a bat sh*t crazy magnet. Lucky!
Costume J’onn wears a blue cape with matching boots and…Briefs? He’s shirtless except for red bands forming an X across his chest. (Perhaps hinting at his desire to join the X-Men?)   Tight black leather bat suit with the mouth sewn shut. Plus all of the bat-toys you’ve come to know and love.
Edge? Batgirl – Briefs in public are NEVER ok, MM.
Most Entertaining Personality J’onn seems pretty serious most of the time.  Stoic, but not as much as say…Batman.   I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you’re going to be having a lot of one-sided convos here. Helluva charades player though.
Edge? Martian Manhunter – Entertainment is NOT what you’re going to get with Cassandra. Unless you like hearing yourself talk.
Best story arch During the Martian Manhunter series, we’re introduced to J’onn’s brother Ma’alefa’ak who was responsible for the virus that wiped out the Martian race. Ma’alefa’ak used his shapeshifting abilities to pose as J’onn and tortured some League members as well as attempted to change part of the Earth to resemble Mars. Ma’alefa’ak’s plan was to convince the Justice League that the real J’onn had turned into a sociopath. J’onn is able to discredit and defeat his obnoxious brother despite having most of his body destroyed in an exploding spaceship. (He later regenerates his entire body from a severed hand.)   Cassandra finds some evidence indicating that Lady Shiva was her mother and goes looking for her. After Nyssa al Ghul proclaimed that Cassandra is “One Who Is All,” the students on the League of Assassins split their alliances between Shiva and Cassandra. In the inevitable confrontation, Cassandra is mortally wounded by The Mad Dog, her adoptive brother, while trying to save one of her students. Shiva revives Cassandra in the Lazarus Pit and tells her that she is, indeed, her mother. They agree to fight to the death once more. In the battle, Cassandra manages to break Shiva’s neck, paralyzing her. Cassandra goes to put Shiva in the Lazarus Pit to heal her, but Shiva stops her, begging her not to do so. Cassandra then impales Shiva on a hook hanging over the pit, seemingly killing her. It is, at the time, unclear as to whether she kills her or lets her fall into the pit to be revived.
Edge? DRAW – J’onn is attacked by his thought-to-be-dead brother and Cassandra constantly fights a woman who could be her lost mother. These are the stories that Soap Opera writers dream up.
Hotness Since he’s a shape-shifter of the highest order, J’onn can look like anyone you want. But his natural state is big and green with a pointy head and red eyes. Not to mention a forehead that would put Tyra Banks to shame.   Cassandra is a half Asian, half Caucasian woman in peak physical condition that dresses in tight black leather and never talks… she’s like a man’s dream come true.
Edge? Batgirl – Not that some people don’t enjoy a five-head.
Fiercest foe Fire – Knowing how powerful the Martian race was, the Guardians of the Universe gave them all a fear of and a weakness to fire. J’onn has worked very hard to overcome this inherent weakness as it’s been exploited by foes numerous times.   Her parents for turning her into an illiterate, mute assassin, and Deathstroke for “turning her into a villain.”
Edge? Martian Manhunter – Ummm, yeah, having your entire race cleared out could give a guy a complex.
Biggest WTF Moment J’onn loves him some Oreo Cookies. Seriously. Booster Gold and Blue Beetle tried hiding the chocolate deliciousness from J’onn…It did not end well for them.   DC Comics’ One Year Later writers deciding that a good explanation as to why she randomly became a villain is because Deathstroke has been drugging. Yep, he’s just been slipping her a mickey all that time.
Edge? Martian Manhunter – Oreos – bringing Humans and Martians together, one dunk at a time.
Person who should attempt an on-screen portrayal Phil Morris plays J’onn on the series Smallville.   Moon Bloodgood – she’s half Asian and she kicks butt, which is all you really need for Cassandra since she doesn’t talk.
Edge? R2 – Phil Morris was in Star Trek with William Shatner. Enough said.   R1 – Although Shatner is a fantastic specimen, Star Trek doesn’t impress me. Moon Bloodgood was in Terminator: Salvation – a bad movie where she kicked ass and was surrounded by hot guys. Good enough for me.

 

Martian Manhunter:  9

Batgirl (Cassandra Cain):  5

And the winner is…. Martian Manhunter! Break out the celebratory Oreos!

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1 Response to “Nerd Fight: Battle #31”


  1. November 13, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    I really liked their take on Batgirl. Fantastic idea. It’s hard to beat MM though. He’s kinda the every-superhero


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