03
Sep
10

Nerd Fight: Battle #21

It’s that time again. To reiterate, every Friday the Cupcake Rogues will randomly pick 2 characters to do battle – whether it be Marvel, DC, female, male, mutant, human, or human that pretends to be a mutant with magic (I’m looking at you, Juggernaut), they are all possible. Once we’ve randomly selected our two, they will go head to head in several categories with one being deemed winner. The winner will live on to fight another day, but a warning – with 200 possible characters, it may be awhile before round 2 🙂

Twenty-first week in the random selection:

Gladiator vs. Creeper

Gladiator (Kallark) Creeper
Origin Kallark is a Strontian – a race of people that pledged a sort of life debt to the Shi’Ar when they saved the Strontians from the Wraith Plague. Kallark specifically was a part of an elite group training to have his abilities enhanced to Gladiator level and then from there to be chosen as a part of the Emperors Imperial Guard. To test their loyalty, Emperor T’Korr ordered the trainees to return home and slay their Council of Elders. Kallark is the only one of the group who carried out the order. Good thing he did too because if he hadn’t, a Shi’Ar Starcracker aimed at the Strontian sun would’ve effectively wiped out his planet if he failed. Jack Ryder has a few origins. In his most recent rebooted origin, he was a host of a TV show called “You Are Wrong!” Ryder is in the midst of an investigative report into the new stem cell research by Dr. Yatz, One day while heading over to Yatz’s lab for an interview, he found Hagop Hewsen and a group of henchmen assaulting Yatz. Attempting to save Yatz’s life, he pulled out a gun and threatened to kill the doctor if the henchmen didn’t let them go. As they attempted their escape, Yatz decided that he couldn’t risk letting Hewsen have his last sample and injected it into Ryder’s stomach. Hewsen’s gang caught up with the two and took them back to Hewsen’s estate. Hewsen, angry that the sample was gone, shot Ryder in the head and he died instantly. Hewsen dumped his body off the cliff, not knowing that the stem cells (which would later be revealed as Joker Toxin), were causing a mutation in Ryder’s body below, thus creating the Creeper.
Edge? Gladiator – killing a bunch of old folks and saving a planet before you even get laid? OK, we haven’t heard that one before.
Powers/ Abilities Gladiator possesses superhuman speed, agility, flight, reflexes and durability. He can withstand supernova temperatures and survive in the vacuum of space indefinitely. Gladiator’s strength registers at class 100. Meaning he can lift around 100 tons. While Gladiator is vulnerable to a specific form of radiation and magic, his power can also be decreased if his confidence level is low. The Creeper has super human strength, durability, and agility along with a regenerative healing factor. His eyes can produce a hypnotic state of fear and his laughter can cause pain to those who hear it (HA!).
Edge? Gladiator – His superhuman strength would crush Creeper’s superhuman strength with just the pinkie in his right hand.
Best Cartoon Moment During Gladiators first appearance on X-Men the animated series, he makes quite an impression by not only lifting the unstoppable Juggernaut, but hurling him miles away! The Creeper has two – one where he uppercuts the Dark Knight whilst hitting on Harley and one where the Joker himself walks away from him, wondering why he’s so crazy.
Edge? The Creeper – You know you’re a crazy Mo-Fo when even the Joker walks on the other side of the street to avoid you.
Costume A red and blue body suit complete with cape and one of the most bitchin Mohawks in the Marvel universe. The Creeper has green skin with a long, orangish-red mane coming out of his upper back with matching gloves and shoes, and green hair. Ladies, try to contain yourselves.
Edge? The Creeper – While Gladiators Mohawk is epic, The Creeper’s boa is simply disturbing, and we’re down with that.
Most Entertaining Personality Gladiator is your typical Strontian, meaning he holds duty and honor above all things. When Lilandra is assassinated in an attempt to recover her throne, Gladiator takes on the role of Majestor, believing it’s in the best interest of the Shi’Ar. The Creeper has our favorite trait in a character – he’s bat-sh*t crazy. When even the Joker thinks you’ve got some screws loose, you can pat yourself on the back for epic insanity.
Edge? The Creeper – You should know by now, we love the bat-sh*t crazy.
Best story arch During the War of Kings, Gladiator is on a mission to capture Lilandra for Vulcan. He does so and is pursued by the Starjammers. The Starjammers attempt at a rescue is nearly successful but Gladiator and the Imperial Guard beat them back. Lilandra begs Gladiator to show his loyalty by doing what is best for the Shi’Ar and not just blindly follow any lunatic on the throne (side eye to D’Ken). When a fellow Imperial Guard demands that Gladiator kill Lilandra as he was ordered to do, Gladiator proves he’s more than just a trained chimp and kills the guards and aids Lilandra in the retaking of her throne. The Creeper was tricked into taking one of Eclipso’s dark crystals, putting him under Eclipso’s control. Freed by Bruce Gordon, he travels with him to South America where Eclipso has conquered a village. An Eclipso-possessed peasant there throws himself and the Creeper off of a cliff. Eclipso abandons the peasant’s mind on the way down and both men are left to plunge to their own deaths, until miraculously saved by the Shadow Fighters. The Creeper joins them to try to take Eclipso down, but Eclipso possesses several hyenas and rips the Creeper to shreds.
Edge? Gladiator – Kallark shows he has some brains underneath all that brawn.
Hotness Gladiator is a one eyed, one horned flying purple people eater. Ok not quite, but he is purple! He also has a bitchin blue Mohawk. Ummm, yeah… not so much. He looks like the Joker’s weird looking older brother that still comes to the high school football games. *shudders*
Edge? Gladiator – obviously.
Fiercest foe Any Emperor/Empress of the Shi’Ar since they basically have Gladiator by the balls. Eclipso – she did kill his ass and all. Don’t worry – he was brought back a few years later.
Edge? The Creeper – Killed by hyenas? Unnecessary.
Biggest WTF Moment Gladiator’s power level is related to the amount of confidence he has in himself. So if his confidence is shaken, he can be significantly weakened. In his original origin, Ryder was in a masquerade costume when getting Yatz’s nanocell “imprinting” and so whenever he switched back to Jack Ryder, he would be naked.
Edge? Gladiator – This is a guy who supposedly move planets from their orbit, but you tell him his Mohawk looks stupid and he falls apart??
Person who should attempt an on-screen portrayal Gerard Butler could rock a Mohawk and still look like he could kick a tuchus. Our votes for him. Absolutely insane with an obnoxious laugh? This calls for Carrot Top!
Edge? Gladiator – seems obvious, King Leonidas.

Gladiator: 6

Creeper:  4

And the winner is…. Gladiator! We allowed him to win because it’s not just a duty, it’s an honor.

And with that, we leave you with Best Cartoon Moments:

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