16
Jul
10

Nerd Fight: Battle #14

It’s that time again. To reiterate, every Friday the Cupcake Rogues will randomly pick 2 characters to do battle – whether it be Marvel, DC, female, male, mutant, human, or human that pretends to be a mutant with magic (I’m looking at you, Juggernaut), they are all possible. Once we’ve randomly selected our two, they will go head to head in several categories with one being deemed winner. The winner will live on to fight another day, but a warning – with 200 possible characters, it may be awhile before round 2 🙂

Fourteenth week in the random selection:

Pyro vs Blob

Pyro Blob
Origin St. John Allerdyce (Pronounced Sinjin, though he prefers John) grew up in Australia. Not much is known about his early life, but at some point he was recruited by Mystique to join her Brotherhood of Mutants. Fred Dukes started out as a Circus Sideshow member called “The Blob.” Professor X finds him and tells him he is a mutant, inviting him to join his school for the gifted. The other students dislike Fred’s obnoxious attitude and he deems himself too good for the X-Men. He escapes from the mansion, gathers his fellow sideshow freaks and attacks the school. After this, Xavier is able to wipe everyone’s minds and Dukes goes back to the circus. Later, a blow to the head restored his memories of the X-Men, and when Magneto came knocking on his door to join the Brotherhood, he accepts. This also doesn’t last long after Magneto tries to bomb the X-Men, not concerned that Blob was also down there. He leaves the Brotherhood as well and returns, once again to the Circus.
Edge? Blob – As pathetic as Blobs origin is at least he was given one. Pyro? Not so much.
Powers/ Abilities Pyro is a pyrokinetic-meaning he can manipulate fire but not create it. He’s solved this conundrum by strapping a flame thrower to his back. Pyro’s control is such that he can create a blazing inferno from a matchstick flame. Though he cannot be burned by a flame he’s in control of, he’s not immune to fire itself. Currently depowered (Thanks, Scarlett Witch), but before he had superhuman strength, endurance, durability and resilience, plus a personal gravity field. His fat tissues could absorb the impact of bullets, cannonballs, and even missiles. Unable to feel pain, the Blob’s skin could not be punctured, lacerated, frostbitten, or ravaged by disease due to its great elasticity and highly accelerated cell replacement rate. His eyes, ears, nose and mouth were not as resistant to injury, nor was he as resistant to fire or heat.
Edge? Pyro – Not only is Blob NOT fire retardant, you know there’s no way he’s outrunning Pyro’s flames. *sniff* why does it smell like burnt leathery bacon?
Most Heroic Moment While Pyro is working with Freedom Force, he goes on a mission in the Middle East. When things go south and Freedom Force retreats, Pyro refuses to leave Blob behind. Both Pyro and Blob are captured and forced to work as sex slaves body guards to various military officers until their freedom is purchased by Toad. Blob and his 25th Brotherhood team broke Xavier out of a government facility he was being held in and helped the X-Men against Cerebro. This may be the only time Dukes was on a winning team.
Edge? Pyro – We hate to poo-poo on Dukes small victory, but Pyro actually showed compassion and real heroism here. No one gets left behind!
Costume Pyro parades around in a red and yellow flame-resistant body suit with a portable flame thrower on his back. He also wears a pair of goggles that make him resemble a bug. Blob wears what can only be described as a blackish blue one piece women’s swimsuit or leotard.
Edge? Pyro – While Pyro looks like Dame Edna in those goggles, at least no ones’ corneas are being seared by the site of a fat man in a little suit
Most off-putting personality Allerdyce is portrayed as somewhat arrogant in the comics. He’s also a bit of a showman, usually his fires take on the shape of animals. So be prepared to take on a fiery cricket of death, or perhaps a smokey bunny of doom. Dukes is arrogant and full of himself, and not just because he’s 510 lbs. He thinks he’s too good for the X-Men, even though his teams are constantly being defeated and then saved by the X-Men.
Edge? Blob – We’re not sure where Dukes gets his delusions of grandeur but he sure believes in them. Keep on truckin’ big guy!
Best story arch Pyro contracts the dreaded Legacy virus. Though he desperately searches for a cure his powers flare out of control and begin to consume him. In a final act of heroism Pyro saves Senator Kelly from an assassination attempt (ironic since Pyro himself once tried to kill Kelly) and with his last words tells the Senator that he hopes mutants and humans can peacefully co-exist. His brave act inspired Senator Kelly to change his mind on his anti-Mutant stance. Poor Blob is just a story arch of fail. I can’t even give you a good enough story arch, so here are some of his best fails.

  • He attempted to buy some kidnapped X-Men from Krueger by having Mastermind use his illusions to create money. Krueger figured it out and attacked Dukes. He was saved by the X-Men. Ouch. Fail.
  • When Magneto created “Alpha, the Ultimate Mutant,” the Brotherhood tried to take over the world. They were opposed by the X-Men and Alpha eventually turned on them and reduced them all to infancy. Fail.
  • Dukes consulted psychologist Sean Garrison, who convinced him to be true to himself. Believing that “truth” lay in opposing the X-Men, Dukes went to the Xavier Institute only to find the X-Men absent. He attacked nonetheless, but was defeated by the students and taken into custody. Double Fail for being beat up by kids.
Edge? Pyro – While his moment as a hero may have been short, it certainly had far reaching consequences. Blob’s stories just make you want to pat him on the shoulder and say “Maybe you should consider a career in mall security?”
Hotness Hard to tell, since he’s usually hidden behind those bug-like goggles, but we’ll let that slide since he has an Australian accent. … Do I even need to put anything here? Honestly, he loses. Shocker of the year.
Edge? Pyro – Ok, so Blob is no competition, but even if Pyro had been paired against someone hot-accents always win!
Fiercest foe While the X-Men constantly interfere with the brotherhoods plans, people seem to like to pit him against Iceman. The X-Men – Dukes has had a personal vendetta against those X-Clowns since his first visit to the mansion. After seeing a psychologist he came to terms that his deep, personal truth was opposing the X-Men. He’s just not very good at it.
Edge? DRAW – those pesky X-Men are always raining on a villain’s parade.
Biggest WTF Moment There are two-before he became a mutant terrorist, Pyro was an author of gothic romance novels.

Pyro was resurrected during Selene’s Necrosha plans and while he died a hero he decided being a baddie was more fun and stated he’d happily go back to offing X-Men.

After M-Day, Dukes lost his power and became, for lack of a better word, a pile of skin. He got so depressed he tried to slit his own throat but couldn’t get his hand to his throat with enough pressure to do the job due to his excess skin. Talk about insult to non-injury. Yikes.
Edge? Blob – this poor sod just can’t even off HIMSELF properly.
Person who should attempt an on-screen portrayal Pyro has been played (superbly I might add) by Aaron Stanford. While he didn’t have a lot to draw on from the comics in terms of personality, Stanford’s Pyro was a sulky, power hungry brat. Coincidentally, he was also R2’s favorite part of X2. Dukes is played by Kevin Durand in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I thought he did a fine job. As fine a job as you can do playing a 510 lb man that can hardly move.
Edge? Pyro – anyone with the cajones to tell Magneto that his head gear is dorky gets a point in our book. And living to tell the tale gets you 5 more.

Pyro: 7

Blob:  4

And the winner is….  Pyro! Now let’s just hope the Blob doesn’t sit on us for this.

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