21
May
10

Nerd Fight – Battle #6

It’s that time again. To reiterate, every Friday the Cupcake Rogues will randomly pick 2 characters to do battle – whether it be Marvel, DC, female, male, mutant, human, or human that pretends to be a mutant with magic (I’m looking at you, Juggernaut), they are all possible. Once we’ve randomly selected our two, they will go head to head in several categories with one being deemed winner. The winner will live on to fight another day, but a warning – with 200 possible characters, it may be awhile before round 2 🙂

Sixth week in the random selection:

Deadpool vs Cyclops

  Deadpool   Cyclops
Origin Wade’s mother died of cancer when he was still a youngin’. His father was in the military and physically abusive. After joining the military for a short time, Wade began his career as a mercenary only for those he felt deserved to die. During this time he made a habit of using plastic surgery to take on a new identity whenever he failed an assignment. He was given Wolverine’s healing ability by the Weapon X program when diagnosed with terminal cancer.   Scott grew up in Alaska, where he could see Russia from his house! During a flight with his family his plane was attacked. In a desperate attempt to save their two young sons, Christopher and Katherine Summers strapped them to a parachute and sent them on their merry way. Scott would later awake with no memories (convenient) and no control over his powers due to a bump on the head he sustained when he landed. He would later be shipped off to an orphanage where he was bullied and experimented on.
Edge? Draw – Both lost their parents at a young age and endured years of abuse and experimentation. It’s like they’re the same guy!! Only one’s less of a tool-bag (hint: Deadpool’s less of a tool-bag).
Powers Regenerative healing factor (Thanks, Wolvie!), superhuman strength, agility, and reflexes. Expert marksman, swordsman and martial artist (not powers, but worth mentioning if you’re ever caught in an alley with him).   Cyclops has the ability to absorb solar energy and redirect it as a concussive laser blast from his eyes. (R2 has always wondered why there are seemingly tons of telepaths, yet no other dudes with laser eyes…)
Edge? Deadpool – the guy can’t die. He’s had his heart ripped out and grew another one. Owned.
Love interest Deadpool’s gotten a lot of tail considering he looks like a cross between Ryan Reynolds and a Sharpei. From Copycat to Diva to even Death herself. But no one has had a hold on Deadpool’s heart quite like Siryn, who was the first girl to love him post-disfigurement and insanity. Isn’t that precious?   After a little glimpse into his psyche we learn that Scott has lusted after 98% of the females on the X-Men roster. His most notable love interests have been powerful yet dull Jean Grey and super-bitch Emma Frost.
Edge? Deadpool – Something about the Theresa/Wade relationship just warms the heart!
Costume Red and black and weapons all over. That’s how Deadpool likes it. Oh, and yellow boxes. Let’s not forget his little yellow boxes.   Usually a variation of a bodysuit, sometimes with a jacket. He’s never without his ruby quartz visor.
Edge? Deadpool – While you can always pick Cyclops out of a crowd, Deadpool’s costume has never made him look like a cross between a suppository and Gort from “The Day the Earth Stood Still.”
Most off-putting personality Deadpool is crass, rude, and not afraid to punch a girl in the face when necessary. He also happens to be hilarious and insane. And he knows he’s in a comic… doesn’t that automatically make him smarter than everyone else around?   Who roams the mansion at night and wails about how he’s the only X-Man who can’t blend into normal society? Scott does!! Apparently ruby quartz lenses don’t allow him to properly visualize Beast or Nightcrawler.
Edge? Scott – While the Cupcake Rogues don’t condone upper-cutting a chick to the face (no, not even Kitty) Scott is the whiniest bitch of a leader we’ve ever seen.
Best story arch After killing a teammate during a mission, he was rejected from Weapon X and send to the Hospice, a government facility where failed superhuman operatives were treated. There he was tortured and used as an experimental subject by Dr. Killebrew and assistant Ajax, in which patients placed bets in a “deadpool” as to how long each subject would live. This caused Deadpool’s scarred appearance. When Wade kills his friend to end his suffering after Ajax lobotomized him, Ajax tore out Wade’s heart. However, his thirst for vengeance was so overwhelming that it jumpstarted his healing factor, which regenerated a new heart for him (but did not cure his scarred appearance). Wilson became Deadpool, killed Ajax, and helped break out his fellow patients.   When the X-men find out that Apocalypse has a machine that can allow him to take the body of Nate Grey (aka the X-Man), Cyclops sacrifices himself to save Nate. He willingly merges with Apocalypse. He is presumed dead until Jean and Cable find him in Egypt and separate him from Apocalypse, killing Apocalypse’s spirit in the process.
Edge? Cyclops – re-growing your own heart is impressive, but helping to take down Apocalypse gets Scott some respect, even from us!
Hotness Sure he’s scarred beyond recognition, completely insane, and not afraid to be an a*hole, but who doesn’t like a guy with a sense of humor?   Cyclops is tall dark and handsome. If you can get past the permanent case of pink-eye and dick-ish personality…You’re a better woman than I am.
Edge? Cyclops – He may be a jerk, but he’s pretty. Not even turning the lights off is going to distract from Deadpool’s deformities.
Fiercest foe Enemy T-Ray resurrected Mercedes Wilson, his former wife that he believed Deadpool killed. He tried to convince Deadpool that he was really Jack, a wounded mercenary that the Wilsons nursed back to health and then turned on them. T-Ray says he is the real Wade Wilson to try to break Deadpool’s spirits. When Deadpool was not phased, T-Ray simply shook his fist to the sky, swearing revenge, and walked off with Mercedes. Also, he later got 4 others to claim they were the true Deadpool. Umm, what?   Mr. Sinister – this guy just WILL NOT leave Scott alone. He’s so hell bent on getting his DNA that he actually made a clone of Jean Grey while she was thought to be dead on the off chance that Scott would fall in love with her. Predictably, he did and they got married and had little Nathan. Maybe Sinister should’ve just waited to snag a pair of Scott’s tighty whitey’s after a “therapy session” with Emma. It would’ve saved a lot of time.
Edge? Cyclops – While T-Ray is relentless; Mr. Sinister is quite a bit more intimidating.
Biggest WTF moment Deadpool has a ton of “imposters” in play, including maniac Deadpool who only says “No pickles.” There’s also heroic Deadpool, media Deadpool, killer Deadpool, feminine Deadpool, nerd Deadpool, inner child Deadpool, unrespected Deadpool, and the real Deadpool. Deadpools galore!   While Scott is still married to Madelyne, Jean pops up back from the dead. Being the upstanding guy he is, he tells Jean that while he will always love her, he’s with Madelyne and they have a child. He tells her to be happy with Wolverine…No not really, instead Scott shows that he’s the Grand Poobah of Douche-baggery and leaves his wife and baby for Jean.
Edge? Deadpool – We’ve always known that Scott is a d-bag, but running around to find a massive amount of imposters of yourself and then teaming up with them? WTF? No pickles.
Person who should attempt an on-screen portrayal Ryan Reynolds…. Hello, lover.   James Marsden sure knows how to play a guy with his panties in a bunch.
Edge? Deadpool – Well, technically Wade Wilson as we haven’t seen the real “Deadpool” yet and Ryan Reynolds only played Wade up until that Baraka monstrosity – (at that point he was played by Scott Adkins). We hope Ryan does as he promises and keeps Deadpool true to the comics!

Deadpool: 6

Cyclops: 5

And the winner is…. Deadpool – close one, but the Merc with the Mouth beats the whiney baby with his panties forever in a twist.

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