30
Apr
10

Nerd Fight – Battle #3

It’s that time again. To reiterate, every Friday the Cupcake Rogues will randomly pick 2 characters to do battle – whether it be Marvel, DC, female, male, mutant, human, or human that pretends to be a mutant with magic (I’m looking at you, Juggernaut), they are all possible. Once we’ve randomly selected our two, they will go head to head in several categories with one being deemed winner. The winner will live on to fight another day, but a warning – with 200 possible characters, it may be awhile before round 2 🙂

Third week in the random selection:

Polaris vs Quicksilver

It’s a special week kids. The random number selector hath decreed that two of Magneto’s three children will duke it out in a fight to the death. Or Pietro will just stick his tongue out while Lorna calls him a Doody-Head. It’s a toss up.

Quicksilver Polaris
Origin Pietro and his twin sister Wanda were raised by Gypsy couple Django and Marya Maximoff. They were recruited by Magneto into his Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. They would later join the Avengers only to learn that Magneto was their father. Orphaned when her parents supposedly died in a plane crash. Adopted by the Danes – a couple claiming to be her mother’s sister and brother-in-law. She didn’t find out she was adopted until she was 20. Her powers were dormant, only showing her difference through her green hair, which she dyed brown.
Edge? Quicksilver – Gypsies always win , especially Gypsies named Django! Plus the whole Turns-Out-My-Machiavellian-Boss-Is-My-Father things is soap opera writing at its best. Put that in your pipe and smoke it Days of Our Lives!
Powers Supersonic speed and thought, Quicksilver has been known to run as fast as Mach 5 (3,080 MPH). Ability to blow things up by vibrating their molecular structure. He also possesses your typical superhuman strength and durability. Was able to jump through time for a limited period. Like daddy, she has the ability to manipulate magnetism. For a short while she had a second set of powers that gave her super strength, invulnerability, and… umm… height? Let’s skip that set.
Edge? Polaris – This was a tough one, but currently her powers are “significantly heightened” and after seeing what she did to Havok – I’m not messing with her! However, we don’t doubt that if Quicksilver had the element of surprise on his side, he could snap some necks before you even knew he was coming.
Love Interest Crystal – One of the Inhumans. They marry, but it turns out that Crystal is a cheating skank who has an affair with the Black Knight. (It’s just a flesh wound!) Had a small interesting in Iceman, but the main focus here is Havok. Umm, he’s a Summers. And he left her at the alter. Sorry, Polaris.
Edge? Fail and Fail. We’re going with Polaris on this one, as much as it pains us to side with a Summers. Pietro and Crystal are the Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson of the comic world. They can’t leave help but hurt each other and yet they can’t leave each other alone. Freaks.
Costume Full bodysuit in either blue or green. Both have a zippy lightning bolt emblem so you know he’s fast. Or an Electrician… She’s had quite a few, but her most known is the green one and the purple one – and of course the punk-rock green hair.
Edge? Quicksilver – not a whole lot of variety here, but if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
Daddy Issues Magneto! Master of Magnetism. Also a grade A jerk. Pietro didn’t like him as a boss and didn’t much like him as a father either. After a long time of wondering, Polaris managed to steal a sample of Magneto’s blood after Wolverine severed his spine… a little help up? No?
Edge? Polaris – you must hate your father a great deal to scoop up his blood and leave his severed ass to go get some lab work done.
Best Story Arch Pietro is the reason behind the whole House of M storyline. Sure Wanda gave everybody what they wanted but it was Pietro’s idea. Geez, he never gets credit for anything good! *pouts* After surviving a genocide in Genosha, Lorna lost it. The X-men found her, nude and deranged wandering the island. Her personality became darker, ruthless, and she even killed some members of the Church of Humanity. Havok then leaves her at the alter for another woman, causing Polaris to go insane and nearly kill him. You go, girl?
Edge? R2 – Quicksilver – His one suggestion affected mutants on a much grander scale and gave us Magneto King of the World. R1 – Polaris – Anyone who wanders around in the nude wins in my book.
Hotness Silvery white hair, pale blue eyes and the body of an Olympic runner. Pietro definitely stands out in a crowd. If you dig tall chicks with green hair, she’s your lady.
Edge? Quicksilver – For having the confidence to NOT color his hair. Put the Miss Clairol down Lorna!
Fiercest foe Himself. Pietro blames everyone else but himself when things go wrong in his life. … Not to mention his speed. Not so handy when he’s putting the moves on the ladies if you know what I mean. Her family, quite frankly. Between her half sister Zaladane, priestess of the Sun God Garokk in the Savage Land stealing her powers and her constant on and off again battles with daddy, who needs enemies?
Edge? Polaris – Again with the family squabbles. Take it to Dr. Phil already!
Biggest WTF moment One word – Bova! The first thing little Pietro saw upon entering the world was an elegant cow/woman. At least he had fresh milk… When her half sister Zaladane steals her powers, she gains a secondary mutation that causes her to grow in height, become invulnerable, have super strength, and causes those around her to have amplified negative emotions like anger and hate. Random…
Edge? Quicksilver – Bova has got this locked. Something about a midwife cow fills us with the creeps.
Person who should attempt an on-screen portrayal Pietro has yet to make his film debut, but clearly there is but one man to play Marvel’s resident Silver Fox…And that man my friends, is Anderson Cooper. Evan Rachel Wood – because Marilyn Manson is emo enough to help her dye her hair green.
Edge? Quicksilver – I want to see Mah Boo (per Dlisted.com) in skin tight latex!

Polaris: 5

Quicksilver: 6

And the winner is…. Quicksilver! And to haunt the rest of your day… here’s a picture of BOVA!!!!!

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