Coulda Been So Beautiful…

With Rogue 1’s  review of X2 finished I thought it would be fun to check out who might’ve played some of our favorite mutants.  After 15 minutes of  looking though notstarring.com and wikipedia much extensive research I’ve compiled a list of some of them…

Professor Xavier – Patrick Stewart, Patrick Stewart and…Oh yes, Patrick Stewart. There’s really no getting around it. Patrick Stewart IS Charles Xavier.

Storm – Angela Bassett, Jada Pinkett Smith and Rachel Luttrell. While I wasn’t in love with Halle Berry’s portrayal of the marvelous Mistress of the Elements, I can’t see any of these chicks doing any better. If only Iman was 20 years younger…And an actress.

Cyclops – Owen Wilson? I’ve never seen him portray someone who isn’t a total frat boy, and if there’s one thing Scott Summers is NOT, it’s a frat boy. Edward Norton? No thanks, he’s an even bigger sissy that Scott. Jude Law? Would his visor cover his receding hair line?

Jean Grey – Selma Blair, Renee O’Connor, Lucy Lawless and Maria Bello. Can you imagine Lucy Lawless and Owen Wilson? Lets move on…

Rogue – Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Katie Holmes, Alicia Silverstone.  Curled up in the fetal position yet?  Not a one of these broads has the sass or the look of Rogue. While we’re at it, lets get rid of Anna Paquin as well. Later Sookie!

Gambit – Josh Holloway and Channing Tatum. This one physically hurts me because Josh Holloway is the answer to all questions.

Wolverine – Gary Senise…Lt. Daaan! Actually, I could see that working out. Good actor, scrappy and not as hot as Hugh Jackman.  Russell Crowe…If Logan’s’ ability had to do with chucking phones  and having an ego the size of a Kardashian ass, maybe. (Ha! I just described Naomi Campbell!) Jean Claude Van Damme…I just can’t.

Magneto – The only other name I’ve seen mentioned is Terrance Stamp, and while I adore Sir  Ian’s portrayal of Mags, I wouldn’t mind seeing how Zod would’ve handled the role…One word…KNEEL!!

So the next time you feel the urge to whine about Hugh’s height, or Gambit’s lack of third person speak, remind yourself that you could’ve been watching Jean Claude Van Damme deliver the immortal line. I’m da best der is at waht I do…

Gratefully yours,

Rogue 2

There was one more possibility for Wolverine that I couldn’t bring myself to mention…The idea filled me with a horror that words could not express. Instead I’ll let you feast your eyes on what could’ve been…

Dude, Sabretooth is toast. Whoa!


5 Responses to “Coulda Been So Beautiful…”

  1. April 29, 2010 at 10:34 am

    R1 would like to go on record as saying that I heart Edward Norton and R2’s opinions of the E. Nort do not reflect my own…. minus that whole Hulk nonsense that is.

  2. 3 g33ky monk3y
    April 30, 2010 at 6:24 am

    Norton might have made a good Nightcrawler. Not that Alan Cumming was bad, just saying if you want to find a good fit for Norton, the Elf is it.

    SMG has the look of Rogue, but that’s about it. Paquin wouldn’t be a first choice either. Why didn’t she fly or rip through a wall or something? They used that character all wrong.

    Owen Wilson – horrible. Luke Wilson would have been fine, better than Marsden at any rate.

    Josh Holloway was the only real choice for Gambit, but he didn’t want to – he felt the role was too close to Sawyer on LOST. Stupid island!

    I saw this concept drawing (or fan drawing, not sure) of Mel Gibson as Logan. It actually looked pretty good. Crowe may have been able to bring more intensity to the role, but Jackman did awesome. The only thing that doesn’t fit for him was the height issue. But he nailed everything else, so I look the other way on that.

    • April 30, 2010 at 8:20 am

      I never thought about that! Ed Norton would’ve been a good Nightcrawler, but Alan Cumming was great AND speaks German so I guess we’ll keep him haha.

      Agree with Rogue – she’s my favorite character and I don’t believe they did her justice – and can we get her on Mystique’s team to steal Ms. Marvel’s powers and return to the X-men awesome already???

      I liked Marsden for Cyclops – mainly because he tends to play that character well – and by that I mean he plays a lame goody two-shoes suck up well 🙂

      -Rogue 1

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